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1999-Present
Stan Mack's...TORAH TOONS ARTICLE: Final Exam: Kingsway Bile College, Bachelor of Televangelism. - Have you ever been to Germany? By Peter Smith INTERVIEW: Stan Mack - Oy vey! A sketchy history of the Jews for Goys. By Becky Garrison CARTOON: "Gingerbread Woman" by Mueller, "Can we die now?" by Mueller, Jesus Birthday by Miller INTERVIEW: Anton Szandor LaVey - A descent into hell reveals a rather hum-drum Satanist. By Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Miroslav Volf - To forgive is more than divine, it is mandated. By Becky Garrison CARTOON: Mixed Blessings by Paul Merklein, Self Sacrificial Lamb by Mueller, "Channel Selector" by Toos ARTICLE: Miracles in Chillicothe, Part 1 - Whenever four Baptists are gathered together...there's always a Fifth. By Robert Flynn ARTICLE: Would You Like Fires With That? - Be very afraid if you're ever asked if you want to "super-size" your Communion. By Tim Ayers ARTICLE: The Door Takes a Spin Around Jerusalem - If Clinton had had this guy, Monica would still be his intern. By Tim Ayers ARTICLE: Excerpt from the The Suits and Marketers Bible, Proverbs - Do "Suitable Helpers" wear Abercrombie & Fitch? By Wendy Chatley Green ARTICLE: Liturgy...Or Not? - Truth is stranger than fiction redux. By Randall F. West ARTICLE: Biblical Pigs and the Undoing of Jesus Christ - Making pork bellies out of a sow's ear. By Mike Havancsek ARTICLE: How to Know Your Pastor's on Viagra - Wherein the secret origins of the hum "Rise Up, O Men of God" are revealed. By James W. Miller ARTICLE: Step Right Up for Vatican III - And you thought Vatican II was a revelation! By John O'Meara ARTICLE: Dead Raising - More questions from the good doctor. By Dr. B. Wilson ARTICLE: Noah's Wife and Active Listening — Can Dr. Laura save this marriage? By Brad Phillips ARTICLE: Reverend Retentive — Gigi ponders the merits of studying the Koran vs. Learning how to make falafel. By Matthew Polly LETTERS TO THE EDITOR — E-Mails and snail-mails abused equally. By Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS/CLARIFICATIONS — Um we're really, really sorry this time. ARTICLE: Not So Good News - We'd have to be crazy to make this stuff up! By Brian Kelcher TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION - Real-life gleanings from across the fruited plain from some plain fruits. THE LAST WORD - Reconstruction Christians, Dominion Theology and other silliness. By Ole Anthony and Skippy R. LOSER: Gary North - Is it Christian to freak out of Y2K? by Skippy R. EXEGETE: Israelite Obesity in the Period of Solomon's Monarchy - When specially abled people of weight ruled. By Helmer, Campbell, Henderson, and Banner
Warhol's Soup for the Soul ARTICLE: Januarye Daggert Dillinberger — The secret spiritual life of Andy Warhol. Really. By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Luke Johnson — Noogies to the Jesus Seminar! By Becky Garrison INTERTIEW: Michael Horton — This interview was predestined to be a success. By Jamie Lee Rake ARTICLE: Prayer of St. Gore of Tennessee — Tipper-canoe and Steve Tyler too! By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Miracles in Chillicothe, Part 2 — Mixed bathing is OK in Chillicothe; just not mixed swimming. By Robert Flynn LOSER OF THE YEAR: Mormons by the niney-load—and more! By Skippy R. ARTICLE: Democrats in the Hands of an Angry God — No hard feelings, you godless infidels. By Kathy Harris-Zmudka ARTICLE: Reverend Retentive — Why Y2K bugs us. By Matthew Polly LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Speak, and having spoken, our readers (and former readers move on. By Doug Duncan ARTICLE: Are You a Closet Catholic? -- If so we beg your indulgence. By Merrick Dunn ARTICLE: Not So Good News — Presented in a not-so-bad package. Compiled by Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: The Lincoln Seminar — Historic noogies to the Jesus Seminar! By Doug Duncan ARTICLE: Truth is stranger than Fiction — Compiled by Brian Kelcher LAST WORD: Why cats will be in heaven (and you probably won't) by Ole Anthony THE EXEGETE: Joe Bob "The Exegete" Briggs — A personal message for Deion Sanders and the God Squad ARTICLE: Hey Kids! Fun Christian Products by Mail — Appall former friends! Haunt new ones! By Tim Ayers ARTICLE: Overheard During a Christian Music Concert — Amy grant us wisdom during these difficult times. By Todd Hafer ARTICLE: Condensed Gospel — (Reprinted from Door #53) Short. Sweet. Funny. By Al Austin ARTICLE: Spiritual Health Maintenance Organizations — First rule: do no harm to the schmo taking communion. By Paul Somerville CARTOONS: "...unspoken requests", Mixed Blessings by Merklein "I play the harp...." And "...the defendant is Satan" CARTOONS: "...Pastor Timmy's sermon in trouble?", "...bring your own water baptismal" by Hawkins and 'Church during the Y2K bug` by Ross
The Springfield Blessing — The Theology of Homer Simpson ARTICLE: Excerpts from The New Millennium Dictionary of Theology — Definition of "Unoriginal sin"—plagiarism. By Randall F. West ARTICLE: The Springfield Blessing — Something that's really worth laughing about. By Robert Darden INTERVIEW: The Door Interview—Harry Shearer — The voice behind the opaque paint. By Becky Garrison INTERVEIW: The Door Interview—Nancy Ammerman -- Hashin' it out with the harbingers of the Apocalypse. By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Baby Boomers Bible Quiz — What do you think of when we say "Jeremiah"? by Eric Metaxas ARTICLE: Chillicothe, Part III — Why Baptists are the way they are—and why they're banned form most biker bars. ARTICLE: The Birthing Room — Is the guy who invented Lamaze really the Antichrist? By Brad Louis ARTICLE: The Chi-Files — The truth is out there—and the Hair Club for Men is the answer. By Robert Darden ARTICLE: The new, revised, updated, contemporary...Seven Deadly Sins — Alas, hogging the remote channel changer ain't one of them. By Jim Schmotzer ARTICLE: Americans With Religious Disabilities Act Protects Rights, Jobs of Spiritually Challenged Clergy — Justification by Legalese. By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Meister Gottlieben Puck: The Teutonic Theosopher — At last! The long-lost origins of the immortal Die Pucktheosophie Dogmatik. By Wayne Kraus ARTICLE: Top 10 Ways the Amish Party like It's 1699 — Tell it to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listenin'. By John McLean and Dan Arnold ARTICLE: What would Jesus do 101 — The absolutely final "What would Jesus Do" article. By Shane Matsumoto ARTICLE: One Too Many Deep Spiritual Thoughts — Good question: What would happen if World Vision merged with Pearle Vision? By Randall F. West ARTICLE: Jerry Falwell Exposes Himself — Horrors! There's sin. Right here in Lynchburg city! By John Green ARTICLE: The Authorized Amway Bible — The Amway, the Truth, and the Light. (Just $29.95) by Bill Bunn ARTICLE: Dear God — But hey! Don't go away mad! Signed, Dan and Pat. by Steve Hines LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: compiled by Doug Duncan ARTICLE: Religions we hope we don't see in 2001 — Join the Joe-piscopals! Be the first (and last) on your block! Gleanings from the Internet ARTICLE: What I Learned in Seminary — One important distinction to make: parousia and arousal and para-sailing. ARTICLE: The Sweet-Spirited Bible — Out with the Old! By Tim Ayers EXEGETE: Woe to those who snub this weighty issue. By Steve Blow LAST WORD: Size Matters — Searching for the Holy Grail. By Ole Anthony and Skippy R. ARTICLE: Not So Good News. Compiled by Brian Kelcher TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Compiled by Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: Scout's Honor — Even Unitarians draw the line at this many "Thou shalt knots" by Paul Somerville LOSER: Ted Turner — TCB with the man behind WTBS and TNT. By Skippy R. CARTOON: "I'll start my own cult...." By Mueller; "Fred was always taking his church out for a spin"; 'Compartmentalization the box set' by Mueller; Father Muhaley by Irwin; 'Guilt' by Mueller; "I'll have the pork surprise" by Mueller; "...AstroGod with your own kingdom in space...." By Mueller
XENA: Warrior Theologian of the Year ARTICLE: Holy Books That Barely Escaped Canonization — The Apocrypha's apocrypha. By Ronald D. Lankford Jr. and Scott Work ARTICLE: Theologian of the Year: Xena: Warrior Princess — Evangelism's golden age is recalled. By Robert Darden ARTICLE: Bill Bytes Computer Game Reviews — Don't miss Spong Pong! By Rob Peebles INTERVIEW: Lewis Black — How come no Christian comics are this funny? -- by Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Mark Potok — How come so many Milton groups have the word "Christian" in their name? By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: John Grisham, Sanctified — Master, what must a lawyer do to be saved? By Erik Johnson CARTOON: Faxable Toon Page — You've got our permission to fax this page to former friends and current enemies everywhere! ARTICLE: Preyin' Paul's Politically Correct Toy Catalog — And you thought the Furbies were hard to find! By H. Turnip Smith ARTICLE: 20 Church Slogans We'll Never See — Well, not in this lifetime, anyway. By Randall F. West ARTICLE: Channeling The Apostles — Courtesy of Grandmaster Stig's potent brewed vinegar. By Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: "O God Our Help with Y2K" — Ah, nothing beats the great old hymns. By John J. Bulten ARTICLE: North Dallas Church on the Rock's Y2K Calendar — But will they see their shadows on Groundhog's Day? TOP 10 LIST: Top 10 Rejected Denominational Slogans -- #11 "Have it Yahweh" by Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: How to Dismiss Any Argument — It's the simplicity, stupid. By James Akin and Steven D. Greydanus ARTICLE: The Widow's Offering — Zig zags his way through this old war-horse. By Kevin Brown ARTICLE: The Boise Summer School of Theology and Culinary Institute — Rocky Mountain Hi Fi and Low Cal. By Randall F. West LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Compiled by Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Compiled by Brian Kelcher TOP 10 LIST: Top 10 Signs You Might be Moving Towards a New Age Mentality — It's crystal clear to us! By Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: How Do We Know God is a Man? — How do we know She isn't? by Dawn Abraham NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Compiled by Brian Kelcher TRUGH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Compiled by Brian Kelcher EXEGETE: Backward Christian Soldiers — Pick a key, any key. By C. McNair Wilson THE LAST WORD: What's Mine is Yours — Discovering the real citizens of Sodom. By Ole Anthony and Skippy R. LOSER: Rupert Murdoch — Who is the bigger fool? The fool? Or the fool who sues the fool? ARTICLE: Do You Have a Rapture Lawyer? — When was the last time you saw a lawyer rapturous? By Robert Flynn CARTOONS: "Early Success in the church Growth Movement" by Norris, "No Fault Religion" by Mueller, "Man returns from the Office", "What would Jesus do" by Norris, "What I really wanted was a cup of Coffee", "cure my impotence" by Cooney
Attack of the Evangelical Horror Movies ARTICLE: Evangelical Horror Movies — These babies make The Blair Witch Project look like the Muppets from Space By Michelle Bobier INTERVIEW: Victoria Jackson--Victoria's secret: She's a Christian! By Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Don Lattin — Church shopping in the new millennium. By John Carney INTERVIEW: Nick Cage — Extra! Extra! Read all about The Tabloid Bible! By John Carney ARTICLE: Diaspora, Holocaust and Ethnic Cleansing: Toward a New Vision of Funny — Citations from the monograph of Jean-Marc-Luc-Picard Borg: The Hermeneutics of Flatulence in the Oral Tradition of the Albanian Artisan Class ca. 1940-47. ARTICLE: The Church of Di-Entology — I would Di 4 U. Bye Matt Sullivan ARTICLE: Just Prayer — Lord, we just so much just want to commend this writer—just to You. by Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: Top 10 New Christian Computer Viruses — You'll never turn on your computer again! By Shane Matsumoto ARTICLE: Christian Fortune Cookies — You will soon meet a tall, handsome Mormon knocking on your door. By Todd Outcalt ARTICLE: Top Ten Feng Shui Rules for Progressive Churches — Feng Shui, a Chinese philosophy that claims serenity can be obtained by careful placement of household furniture. By Todd Outcalt ARTICLE: What if the Corinthians Answered Paul's Letters? — (Originally appeared in December 1985/January 1986 #88) Take our advice: go to a qualified ophthalmologist about that problem you're always complaining about. By Bob Hensler ARTICLE: Annual Denominational Survey, national Association of Holiness Nazarenes — we really didn't mean the confidentiality thing. By Jerry Robbins ARTICLE: Calendar of Saints — Deleted: any martyred saint whose death, if dramatized on American television, would receive an advisory warning of "TV 14" or higher, owing to offensive and graphic violence. ARTICLE: Ask Pastor Happy — Not tithing on your gross income is just plain gross. By John Green ARTICLE: The Palestine Times Best Seller List — we particularly recommend St. Stephen's Everybody must get stoned. By Ronald D. Lankford, Jr. ARTICLE: Environmentalist Bible — How the furbish lousewort attained a state of grace. By Paul Somerville LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Compiled by Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Compiled by Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: Ten Politically Correct Commandments for the Year 2000 — How Moses got his nickname: Knuckles. By Robert M. Price NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Compiled by Brian Kelcher TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Compiled by Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: A Christian's Primer on how to Survive Halloween — Rule #11: Don't eat communion wafers laced with strychnine. By Matthew Porte THE LAST WORD: by Ole Anthony and Skippy R. LOSER OF THE MONTH: Pat Robertson — Shout it from the housetops! By Skippy R. CARTOONS: "Signs and Wonders" by Judd; "...suffered from periodic Jesus Movement flashbacks.." by Sisson; Pat Roberston's Dog by Mueller; "..Charles Stanley preaching cruise" by Judd; Promise Keepers by Judd; "They will know we are Christians by our accessories" CARTOON: Culture Jet Lag — "The Prince and the Princess—a commemorative collector plate CARTOON: Cultural Jet Lag — "Nouveau Divination"
Meeza the Anti-Christ? ARTICLE: "Are You the Antichrist" The results of our fab new quiz are in! by Bob Darden ARTICLE: 'Benny Hinn Sues the Door- But we turn it into a special opportunity for Door subscribers! INTERVIEW: Wavy Gravy — Dissolving the line between stage and audience and reality by Bob Gersztyn INTERVIEW: Dr. Paul Boyer — Premillennially dispensing with the The Late Great Planet Earth by Glenn Berg-Moberg CARTOONS: Happy Holidays from the Door "I'm sorry Mary, your medical coverage doesn't cover pre-existing conditions..." , "Hello, Police?! This is the Star of Bethlehem... I think I'm being followed by these three guys! It's really freakin' me out! by Jim, "Well, blow me down! For a young Benny Hinn, it was defining moment of his life." ARTICLE: WwjDOS 2000, The Christian Operating System — You converted the couple down the street. You converted 20 sinners at your last tent revival. Isn't it time you converted your computer? By Ada M. Brown ARTICLE: We Vishnu — A Hari Krishna — Guatama we bring to you and I Ching by John J Bulten. ARTICLE: Dumb Shelter — Protect your family from dangerously high levels of Y2K stupidity by Skippy R. ARTICLE: Making your Rapture Y2K Compliant: Are you Ready? — More importantly are you submissive? By Nicholas Cravotta ARTICLE: The Ultimate Hanukkah Album: A Door Review — "Rainy days and High Holy Days Always Bring Me Down" by Mark Levitt ARTICLE: The Ten Commandments, Re-Written for Gen-Xers — Don't cheat on your wife or husband unless they don't understand or can't validate or meet your needs. By Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: Deep Spiritual Thoughts: The Series — Will The Church on the Way ever arrive? By Randall E. West ARTICLE: Rapture Preparedness — In case of rapture, please feed our cats. By John Green CARTOON: Merry Christmas from the Door! "Don't tell him I make land mines in the off season by Mueller, "Wow, déjà vu." By Toos, "It's a useless piece of crap, Andy. I thought you kids went in for that sort of thing." By Mueller , Victoria responds. ARTICLE: The Most Common First Sentences Spoken in the After-Life — Just in case you want to practice ahead of time... by Butch D'mbrosio ARTICLE: O'Hara Named Hunger Head — Fiddle de dee, indeed! By Paul Summerville ARTICLE: Witness Wipes — Meeting people at their point of need by John Green ARTICLE: Top 10 Names for Benny Hinn's Hairdo — All hail the Scalp Ferret! By George Beaverson ARTICLE: The Dental Miracle March — Let all the gap-tooth maids and the goalies come by Randall F. West. ARTICLE: The Top Seven Things to do With Benny Hinn's Church After He's Moved - #6 Raze it and build a hospital — you know, a place where people really get healed. By Matthew Porter ARTICLE: The Perfect Christian Job — What joy would be mine, if only I had a Christian job! By Georgia Beaverson LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Compiled and annotated by Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Noticed and noted by Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: Gleanings from the Internet: Matzos and Mistletoe "O Come All Ye Faithful" NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Compiled and anointed by Brian Kelcher TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Compiled by Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: Gleanings from the Internet: Buddist Carols — "Here Comes Lama Tsoh, Here Comes Lama Tsoh, Right Down Lama Tsoh Lane." THE LAST WORD: by Ole Anthony and Skippy R. LOSER: Nostradoormouse — In the year 2525 by Skippy R.
We Got Kinky: Interview With a Texas Jewboy ARTICLE: January's Walk on the Wild Side — Here's Looking at You, Kid. By Mark Rasmussen INTERVIEW: Kinky Freeman — They ain't makin' Jews like Jesus no more. By Doug Duncan INTERVIEW; John Hockenberry — Freewheelin' with John. By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: A Saint By Any Other Name is Still a Jew — If it looks like a duck ... by Thomas Shane ARTICLE: Pastor Happy Answers Your Post Y2K Questions — Our absolutely LAST Y2K article. By John Green ARTICLE: Top 10 Reasons There are No French Baptist Revivals — Worst wine and pastry they have ever tasted. By Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: Biblical Personal Ads — If they only knew then, what we know now. By David Susman ARTICLE: Vows of Cohabitation — So help me, me! By Daniel Murphy ARTICLE: Name Change Denied by Feed the Children — Well, after all, they didn't specify WHICH children. By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Footprints — I hope you step on a jellyfish! By David Learn ARTICLE: The Starfish — When life's a beach. By David Learn and David McCandless ARTICLE: The Touch of the Master's Hand — It was worth a try. By David Learn ARTICLE: The Chi Files: The Truth Be Known — The return of Sullia and Mull-dar. By Alvin Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Teleworshiping: Rome Oversees Catholic E-Church — Watch as He conquers hi def and rises from the dead! By Nicholas Cravotta ARTICLE: Mix 'n' Match — Design Your Own Cult Kit — Achieve godhead, get your own planet, marry a nice girl or two from BYU and have a jazillion kids (not necessarily in that order). By Randall F. West ARTICLE: The anointing of Pig's Ear — A Man, a Plan, a Band — Panama! By Pete Court LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Compiled and annotated by Doug Duncan CARTOONS: Faxable Toon Page "When worlds collide." By Rex Rubenzor "To the great relief of Al the parents in Israel, the Prophet Elisha is finally fitted with a new camel's hairpiece." By Allen "Church History for Post Modern Collegians" by J.B. Lightfoot "The Wolvertoon" by Monte Wolverton" "Purgarory's Angels" by Jeff Swenson ARTICLE: Not So Good News — Compiled and anointed by Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: Compiled by Brian Kelcher THE LAST WORD: The Anointing — Now you see it, now you don't. by Ole Anthony ARTICLE: A Prayer to Our Lady of Whitewater — Our Lady, full of ... by Danny Murphy ARTICLE: Chicken Soup for the Damned Soul — Calm down, it's only hell. By Ben Scott LOSER: Assault on Mount Sinai! — The Pope poops out. By Skippy R. CARTOON: " Your hair must be this tall to ride this ride" by Monte Wolverton
We Want You! Cults on Campus INTERVIEW: Chris Lee — New wrinkles on an old and dangerous cult by Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Madeleine L'Engle — A Wrinkle in Time saves nine by Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Mike Yaconelli — Just plain wrinkled by Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Clouds of Joy — If it looks like a duck... by Ed Wier ARTICLE: Thirteen Reasons to be Worried About Your Church — their communion service features the question, "Would you like fries with that?" by Craig Mosher ARTICLE: The Single Guy's Guide to Entertaining Angels — What else is a former "sensitive-90's kind-of-guy" to do? By Peter Court ARTICLE: Newly Formed Churches — Bill Gates' Memorial Greek Orthodox by John Green ARTICLE: Revitamax — Do you suffer from the heartbreak of P.B. (Premature Benediction)? By John Green ARTICLE: What If The Lord's Prayer Had Been Written by Various Christian Denominations? — Our Non-Gender Specific Primary Diety, Who art in heaven... by Shane Matsumoto ARTICLE: The Spirituality of Foraging — Finding the faithful foraging remnant. By Dr. Hunter Gaither ARTICLE: Landon's Inferno — Who'll be the first to bail your favorite Pax-TV star out of hell? By Michael Landon as dictated in an interfaith seance ARTICLE: Nine Most Popular Redneck Bible Stories — Featuring the Parable of the Willing Sheep ARTICLE: Flopsy Bunny and the Easter Miracle — Why most Christian movies are very, very bad by Christopher Garrett ARTICLE: Shows for the Paxnet's Upcoming Spring Season — Don't miss the thrilling return of Elton John as Satan's handmaid! CARTOON: Beyond Belief — Someone's Silent now, Kumbayah. No More Verses Now, Kumbayah by R. Judd CARTOON: Beyond Belief — Second Verse ...Doubters only ... If You're Saved and You Know it Think Again...by R Judd ARTICLE: The Omega Code Deciphered And A Review of Five Learned from Watching The Omega Code — Why the prophets of the Apocalypse look suspiciously like Siegfried and Roy by Paul Somerville ARTICLE: White Watch — The Complete Christian Identity Guide to Safe Television Viewing by Becky Garrison LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Compiled and defiled by Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS By Brian Kelcher ARTICLE: Gnostic Guy's New Revised Standard Version Billboards - Jerry who — God by D. Ed Williams THE LAST WORD: Pokemon and the Golem by Ole Anthony and Skippy R. CARTOONS: Faxable Toon Page "They don't want you to heal the ones on crutches. They're afraid it might lead to dancing." By R. Judd, " Honey, Someone left a burning ankh on our lawn. It's those damn Egyptians again! " By Jeff Swenson" Margaret, are we saved from eternal damnation by the saving power of Jesus' blood, or not?" By Glenn " Buffy joins the Christian Coalition, Ha! Got me another Democrat! " By Jeff Swenson " St. Paul's first draft. Dear Romans, How are you? I don't really have much to say, Just behave yourselves and have faith in God. Love from Paul. P.S. Say hello to Priscilla and Aquilla..." by Glenn ARTICLE: Denominations Deal with Viagra Side-effects — "Rise Up, Rise Up, O Men of God" by Paul Somerville TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Compiled by Brian Kelcher NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Compiled by Brian Kelcher LOSER: - Bono, the Pope, and The Door — and a whole lot more by Skippy R.
The Gospel According to Dilbert INTERVIEW: An Interview with Dilbert Creator: Scott Adams by Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: "Thoughtful Evangelical" — A Phillip Yancey Interview by Doug Duncan ARTICLE: " The Pensacola Blessing: Finding a Porpoise in Life " by John Green ARTICLE: Christian Urban Legends: "It's True, I Swear To God!" ARTICLE: "The Bible Crossword Puzzle" by L.M. Hagar FEATURE: " Bumper Stickers for Those On An Alternate Journey" by Pete Court FEATURE: "Early Warning Signs Your Religion Has Sold Out!" by Butch D'Ambroso ARTICLE: "The Lord's Tennis Ball" by Chris Williams ARTICLE: "The Dichotomy of Christianity — Not!" by Sam Barry ARTICLE: "Death is a Journey — An Excerpt from Chicken Soup for the Damned Soul" by Ben Scott ARTICLE: "The Memo From Heaven to Hell on the Unexcommunication of Galileo " Translated from the Latin by Nicholas Cravotta ARTICLE: Other Denominations Follow Baptists in Calling For "Gracious Submission" by Paul Sommerville ARTICLE: "Jewish Country & Western Songs by Ed Wier and Doug Duncan ARTICLE: " Early Warning Signs You're Probably Going to End Up in Hell" by Becky Garrison ARTICLE: "Christian Ministry or Televangelism? " A Seminarian Guide to the Toughest Career Path Decision by Paul Somerville CARTOON: "And today, I'd like to preach a two minute sermon on selling God short."by Johnny Hawkins CARTOON: "It was paradise, before you showed up." By Glenn Meyer ARTICLE: " Epistles from Chillicothe" by R.J. Flynn FEATURE: " More Biblical Personal Ads" by David Susman CARTOON: "Roadkills in Heaven" by Cooney ARTICLE: " AtheisticPrimer" - Isaac Newton beat his wife, so gravity doesn't exist by Doug Fattig LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: compiled and composted by Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS by Brian Kelcher CARTOON: " They don't want you to heal the ones on crutches. They're afraid it might lead to dancing." By R. Judd CARTOON: "Pastor Rugley tries a different approach to preaching Lamentations." By Johnny Hawkins CARTOON: ...and now I want you to meet the all powerful second person of the Trinity, through which the whole universe was created, who shall sit at the right hand of God..." by Glenn CARTOON: "The parable of the lost things... CARTOON: "Mid Term Scores" by Cannon THE LAST WORD: "Careful What You Pray For" by Ole Anthony with Skippy R. ARTICLE: "Now There's Tamagoddy" A Virtual God by Pete Court TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: compiled and comingled by Brian Kelcher NOT SO GOOD NEWS: compiled and dogpiled by Brian Kelcher LOSER: "The Gospel According to Dilbert" by Robert Darden THE DOOR STORE ANNEX FEATURE: Deconstructionist Bible Study by Roberts/Siergey
That 60's Issue INTERVIEW: Hot Tuna by Bob Gersztyn INTERVIEW: Examining Stan Freberg by Jamie Lee Rake INTERVIEW: The Door Interview with Os Guinness by Arsenio Orteza ARTICLE: Bob Larson Ministries Emergency Updates 2000 by John Green ARTICLE: Piety For Fun & Votes by Ben Johnson ARTICLE: Gene-Spliced Religions by Pete Court FEATURE: Top Moves and Holds of the Wreligious Wrestling Federation By Ed Wier ARTICLE: At Least It's a Dry Heat by Ben Scott ARTICLE: Sectarian Arms Race Feared In Wake of Question: Do Southern Baptist Have The Bomb? By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Joyce Meyer Rocks My World by Kathy Shaidle FEATURE: Proposed Sequence of Hal Lindsey Apocalyptic Bestsellers by Ed Wier FEATURE: Taliban TV Guide by Kathy Harris-Zmudka FEATURE: What Would Jesus' Teddy Bear Do? By Judith Hugg FEATURE: Religion for Dummies by Cos McCowboy ARTICLE: Miracles in Chillicothe by R.J. Flynn FEATURE: Prayin' La Vida Buddha by Becky Garrison FEATURE: Who Wants To Be A Disciple by Todd Outcalt LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: compiled and composed by Doug Duncan THE LAST WORD: God's Ghostwriter by Ole Anthony with Skippy R. CARTOONS: Faxable Toon Page "Holyish Bible: Liberal Translation" by Matt "Y'Know Harry, For a Christian You're Kind of a Smart Aleck" by Sisson "Jesus Walked on thee water a little to far from the boat" by Jeff Swenson "Jehovah's half-wit ness" By Matt "I've been looking for a church like yours- I'm heavily into sin and have absolutely no desire to change" By Sisson TRUTH IS STRANGER: compiled by Brian Kelcher NOT SO GOOD NEWS: compiled by Brian Kelcher LOSER: People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals by Robert Darden CARTOONS: "Act like you make a difference" by Mueller "Today's special Veggie Tales characters" By Matt
Artificial Intelligence, An ALle GOREy INTERVIEW: Ship-of-Fools.Com, Simon Jenkins - Holy heterodoxy Batman by Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Landover Baptist.Org, Chris Harper - Born-Again Nazis to Administer Church Labor Camps! By John Carney FEATURE: How the Book of Ecclesiastes Might Have Been Different If the Preacher Had Been More Sectarian - For everything there is a season - except dancing by Paul Somerville INTERVIEW: Operation Rescue National, Rev. Flip Benham - "We're barnyard animals, after all it's warm, we have to copulate." FEATURE: Deep Spiritual Thoughts - Still wondering at what point TV ministry turns into a business by Randall West FEATURE: Specialty Bibles You Won't Find at Family Bookstores - Featuring the Crusty Set in My Ways and Don't You Dare Try to Change Me Bible by Randall West ARTICLE: You Can Kick the Money Changers Outta the Temple but... - When Catholics Die: Eternal Life or Eternal Damnation? You Decide by Kathy Shaidle FEATURE: Proficiency Test for Religious Lightweights - Do you really think Jeremiah was a bullfrog? By Barbara Astor ARTICLE: Supreme Court to Decide if Football Games Should be Allowed Inside Churches - They not only broke the wall between church and state, they also busted a window! By Tim Casady ARTICLE: Prayer Will Survive; Let's Give Thanks - And by the way, we're going to be praying to Ahura Mazda by Steve Blow FEATURE: The Piscean Creed - What happens when Venus graces your vocational sector? By Pete Court FEATURE: Top Shortest Christian Books of the Year - Including Sexual Positions by the Baptist Missionary Society by Ed Wier ARTICLE: Miracles from Chillicothe - Guard your purse, there are Methodists in the house by Robert Flynn FEATURE: Fatboy Slip and Fratboy Stuff - A remake tone terribly, terribly wrong by Skippy R. CARTOON: Pastor Hank Heals 'Em" - Author of the Best Selling "Tell it Where to Go" FEATURE: Ten Things To Really Like About Christian TV - Two words: Eye Shadow! By Kyle Minor FEATURE: You Might Be a Crouch If...- There's a hole in the ozone layer above your dressing room by Monica Welcher FEATURE: Real Stupid Church Signs - Brought to you by the original cotton-pickin' Pentecostals CARTOONS: "You hold it this way", "The combover from hell", "Popemon" FEATURE: Letter From a Friend of Bill: I Absolve Me - A letter to Bill Clinton about where to put his hands by Skippy R. FEATURE: Ten Explanations of the "700" in The 700 Club - Highest S.A.T. score of entire staff by John McLean CARTOONS: "Benny Hinn wanders into the flight path", "House of Judeo-Christian values - beware of God" LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - Dinks and winks by Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Booboos from the you-know-whos by Brian Kelcher FEATURE: Al Gore's Ten Commandments - Remember Election Day and vote Democratic by Becky Garrison THE LAST WORD: The Age of Created Men by Ole Anthony and Skippy R. FEATURE: If Psalm 23 Had Been Written by Ernest Hemmingway - It would be short. And Sweet. By Dennis E. Hensley CARTOONS: "So which one of you is converting?" "The cheap jewelry, the Amy Grant CD's, the forced smile...yep, she downloaded 'The Jesus Loves Me virus'" TRUTH IS STRANGER: Tid bits and nit-wits NOT-SO-GOOD-NEWS: Bon mots from Bono and Mott the Hoople by Brian Kelcher LOSER: The Allegory of AL Gore - If you didn't complain we were unfairly sectarian THEN, you can't squawk NOW by Robert Darden
Brother Bob Tilton - The Grinch Who Stole Christman INTERVIEW: An Interview with The Grinch Who Stole Christmas - Robert Tilton. By Doug Duncan INTERVIEW: Ann Rowe Seaman, author of Jimmy Swaggart's Biography - Hillary is to Bill as Frances is to Jimmy. By Doug Duncan ARTICLE: "The Forgive or Forget Not Show" - The televangelist and the game show. By Alvin Spaegle, Jr. ARTICLE: "Yes! You Too Can Feng Shui - Fang Shui...a rather expensive and sometimes painful variation of Feng Shui that deems your spiritual well being is determined by the alignment of your teeth. FEATURE: Helpful Christian Check-out Line Pamphlets - "Help, I've got a crush on my pastor!" By Ed Wier CARTOONS: "I'm sorry Mary, your medical insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions... by Giff"Trust me, I'm here" "I don't believe in anything I can't see." By Johnny Hawkins FEATURE: Religious Air - featuring "Something Kosher in the Air" by Matthew Porter ARTICLE: Miracles from Chillicothe - The Baptist church in Chillecothe needs a secretary. Bad. By Robert Flynn ARTICLE: "The Chairman's Corner" From This Year's "Hell's Annual Report to Stake Holders" From Lord Lucifer, CEO and Chairman of Hell, Inc. (A Division of the Phillip-Morris Company). By Nicholas Cravotta FEATURE: Sent Mail - Message Composition - the wisdom of cyber FEATURE: Fratres Millitiae Christi - The brothers of the sword begins its 25th season of outreach activities in the Northeastern Baltic region. By Michael C. Paul CARTOONS: Herschel and John by Patterson ARTICLE: Walker Railey Bailey Looks for His Lost Seeds of Faith - How Walker Railey Bailey got his kitty bidness back. By Brad Bailey (reprint) CARTOONS: "Santa Clops" by Mueller , "The Reverend Montoya owed his success as a televangelist to the blending of divine revelation and plausible deniability ." ARTICLE: What Would Jesus Drink? - We ain't jivin you - it'd be java! By Christopher Young FEATURE: The Bones of St. James the Lesser - You want sacred Christian relics? We GOT your sacred Christian relics right here! By Greg Horton FEATURE: Former Hinn Devotee Files Harassment Lawsuit Against Televangelist - I ain't been to Bible school, and my name ain't Charles Stanley, but, honey, this cowgirl knows when things have crossed the line." FEATURE: 10 Reasons Harry Potter Books Should be Banned or Burned or Both - #7 They promote a lack of respect towards evil teachers. By Vanetta Chapman LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Noted and bloated by Doug Duncan CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Errors and other terrors by Brian Kelcher CARTOONS: "Let's see, as a publisher of several editions of the Bible, you owe Him royalties." By Volko "Does Santa explode or anything?" by Mueller THE LAST WORD: Why We Need Robert Tilton by Ole Anthony with Skippy R. CARTOONS: "Tony had some reservations concerning the new guy" TRUTH IS STRANGER: Truth you can looth by Brian Kelcher NOT SO GOOD NEWS: News you can lose by Brian Kelcher LOSER: Things Go Better With Kwanzaa by Skippy R.
Heaven & Mirth INTERVIEW: An Interview with Mike Thaler - "Bible Stories to Tickle Your Soul" by Marla Pierson INTERVIEW: An Interview with Walter Wangerin, Jr - "A meditation on the nature of storytelling and faith. By Glenn Berg-Moberg FEATURE: Were You There When The Lord Was Crucified? - A Souvenir for the ages. By Blaine McCormick FEATURE: Televangelist Job Screening Form - "Applicants with ethics, scruples, conscience, or any other debilitating conditions need not apply. INTERVIEW: An Interview with Nancy Sehested - "A Meditation of faith and storytelling. By Katie Cook. FEATURE: a Brief Southern Baptist Doctrine of Women - Submitted for your approval ... By George Haltzla FEATURE; Announcing the New Christos Collection from the Franklin Mint - Sure to provide many years of enjoyment as you spend hours dusting around them. By Doug Fattig ARTICLE: "Miracles from Chillicothe" - Brother Whatley feared that if he talked to the young people about sex, they would smirk when he read the story of Abraham sporting with his wife. By Robert Flynn CARTOONS: "My name is Ralph. I'm a first time prayer.""You will both be punished for your disobedience! Eve, you will suffer great pain in childbirth. Adam, you will suffer even worse. One week each month Eve will have PMS." ARTICLE: Excerpts from Satan's Diary - "Could stealing a walnut hurt God"? by Nicholas Cravotta FEATURE: Really Fun Cult Games, Crafts and Activities - Why should the loonies have all the fun? By Randall West FEATURE: Ten Ways to Get Rid of Jehovah's Witnesses - Put a sign around your dog which says "Beware of Human." By Timothy Kevin Perry CARTOONS: "I've either exorcised the bed demons, or called up the Demonic Host, we won't know until tonight.""Churches in Crisis - Next 2700 Miles" ARTICLE: Southern Baptists Vote to Amend Bible - Um, actually we mean to restore the Bible. By Kevin Kern CARTOON: "I play the Bible on tape to little Joshua as he's going to sleep. I can't think of anything more lovely than the word of God being the last thing you hear before you drift off! Can you imagine the dreams he must have?" ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - How we screwed up - in chronological order. By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Patron Saints for Modern Times - Are three patron saints of candlemakers (Ambrose of Milan, Bernard of Clairvaux, Honorius of Amiens) too many? By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: In Defense of the Amish - If the bearded guys are driving you buggy, read this. By Butch D'Ambrosia ARTICLE: Proactivism : A New Paradigm for Religion - If eating one more piece of cake will kill you, don't bother. You're not doing me any favors! By Mark Levitt ARTICLE: Dr. Peter Rockman Junior's Believer's Bombastic Bulletin - In defense of the Newly Inspired Version FEATURE: Jews in the Village - Schlepping at the YMCA By Ed Wier FEATURE: Generation -X Children's Letters to God - YO! God-dude! By Ed Wier CARTOONS: "Moses sent spies into Canaan." "We're fishers of money - you'll need us." LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Diatribes from scribes. By Brian Kelcher CORRECTIONS & CLARIFICATIONS: Mea culpa for our culpabilities. By Brian Kelcher CARTOONS: Which Circle by Jeff Friend & Chris Huber THE LAST WORD - We are the heretics - by Ole Anthony and Skippy R. FEATURE: The Psalm - Father pinch their heads off; Loving Lord pinch their heads off. By Pete Court CARTOON: "Well, I was a Southern Baptist until they came out with that resolution about pets obeying their owners... TRUTH IS STRANGER AND NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Clippings and grease drippings from around the world compiles by Harry Guetzlaff LOSER: The sorcery of words by Robert Darden
The Start of Something Big INTERVIEW: Mickey Hart - Searching for the rhythm of life at Terrapin Station by Bob Gersztyn INTERVIEW: Sherman Alexie - Cinematic reflections on Guilt Squared CARTOONS: Which Circle, Part II - Wacky dots are bad. By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber INTERVIEW: Diedre Good - Reclaiming the power of meekness by Becky Garrison CARTOON: Beef stock, Chicken Stock, Good Lutheran Stock. By Jim FEATURE: Humilityfest 2001 - Cancelled due to a basic spiritual anomaly by Pete Court ARTICLE: The Start of Something Big: Reflections on Steve Allen - To believe greatly , it is necessary to have doubted greatly. By Becky Garrison FEATURE: Bob Larson Ministries Udpate! - Monica is succumbus! By John Green ARTICLE: Left Behind, Series #37 - Turn your umbrellas inside out cause it's raining money! Woo hoo! By Ted Kluck ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels: March/April - What were YOU doing on the night of April 6, 1968? By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: IV-Q-2 Qumran Cave Fragments: New from Hog Nammadi - What happens when a fragment appears to be a 'drash. By Joel S. Heller FEATURE: Televangelist's Quick Reference Guide to Problem Passages - You can have lots of money, you can make lots of money, you can spend lots of money on nice things for yourself. You just have to avoid loving it while you're doing it. By Doug Fattig FEATURE: You Might be a Dispensationalist...if you've ever started a sentence with the statement "Well, Lindsey says." By Ethan Harris FEATURE: Nine Reasons Why You Will Want to be a Bubba Ha'I - Sing along with us: "When you wish upon a star ..." by Randy West ARTICLE: Pax TV's Big Brethren - Why should the godless secular networks have all of the bad reality-based programming? By Greg Horton LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Snappy comebacks and groveling mea culpas by Brian Kelcher CORRECTIONS & CLARIFICATIONS: Groveling mea culpas only by Harry Guetslaff CARTOONS: "Like everyone else, Maxwell wanted to know when the end of the world would be and one day he got his chance." "Wait a minute. If you don't have God's address, how do you get the collection plate money to him?" FEATURE: Bush Beliefs - The Austin Apostle's Creed: a 'drash by Dubya. By Becky Garrison THE LAST WORD: The Doctor is in by Ole Anthony and Skippy R. FEATURE: New Folk Song of the Religious Right: "If I had the power, I'd censor all the music" by Ed L Wier ARTICLE: Satan Captured by Texas Police - Where the devil went AFTER he went down to Georgia by Cos McCowboy TRUTH IS STRANGER: Stranger than what? By Brian Kelcher NOT SO GOOD NEWS: We couldn't make this stuff up even is we wanted to by Harry Guetzlaff and Door Staff LOSER: The Gold Rush Phenomenon - He shoulda reached for the shopvac by Skippy R.
We Ambush George INTERVIEW: Clinton's Coonscience, Dr. Tony Campolo by Ole Anthony and Skippy R INTERVIEW: Bush's Balance, Jim Wallis by Becky Garrison ARTICLE: " The Revelation of Dubya" - Scarier than the one to the Seven Chruches of Asia by Becky Garrison FEATURE: "Reasons for Joining the Unitarian Church" - Reason #1: There are no Unitarian martyrs by Ed L. Wier FEATURE: "Clergy Visit Emergency Kit" - When it is important to impress the man in the black dress - by Ed. L. Wier CARTOONS: "Roads were crossed. So what! By Mueller and "New Age Mothering" by Matt ARTICLE: "Saul and the Witch of Endor" - Witches may be able to read cards, but you're better off pleasing the dealer by Mike Thaler FEATURE: "Top Reasons for Visiting the United Methodist Church" - Not many young, attractive women or men to disrupt spiritual concentration by Ed L. Wier FEATURE: "If Psalm 23 Had Been Written" - We made camp at Sitka and shared seal blubber with our enemies, the Inuit by Dennis Hensley ARTICLE: "Miracles from Chillicothe" - Haskel Gatewood pitched his tent, ready to save folks from sin, sickness, disease, doubt and Democrats by Bob Flynn ARTICLE: " Crackpots and Earthen Vessels" - Remember: August is National Take a Martyr to Lunch month by Paul Somerville ARTICLE: "Review of the Deluxe DVD Edition of the Bible" - Contains 45 minutes of outtakes not seen in the original by Bob Greenman FEATURE: "Deep Spiritual Thoughts" - It may be a new century, but we're still pondering the old one. By Randall West ARTICLE: "Holy Coke" - Bubbles of refreshing, bursting with blessing by Pete Court FEATURE: "Urgent Recall Notice from the Southern Baptist Convention" - You are in extreme danger by Tamara J. Jaffee-Notier CARTOONS: "Will pontificate for food" by RexRubenzer and "Mother of Televangelists" by BTW ARTICLE: "The Kiss of the Spidery-Eyelash Woman" - Wherin Tammy Fay finds herself undergoing a sort of Nixonian rehabilitation: she's a star all over again! By Kathy Shaidle CARTOONS: "We are overbooked, but I could put you on standby!" and "Pearly gates? No way, this is Heaven. Everything's made of chocolate". By Vojtko FEATURE: "Focus on the Dysfunctional Family" - Remember none of this is your fault by Matthew Porter ARTICLE: "Jesus Implicated in Elaborate Game-Fixing Operation" - He has influenced the outcome of most of the important college and professional games played in the United States. By Kevin Kern nd Kathren Brown ARTICLE: "Who Wants to Marry a Poor Pastor?" - Featuring fifty unsuspecting Sunday School teachers wearing thongs by Todd Outcalt ARTICLE: "Fund-raising Letter from Moody Bible Institute" - Let us "blow" an exciting missions opportunity your way! By David Ehmann LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Readin', writhin' and arithmetic. By Brian Kelcher and Skippy R. CARTOONS: "Which Circle? #3 - Where's the shameless degradation of a lost and evil soul? By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber LAST WORD: - Forget the Taliban, what about our own idols? By Ole Anthony and Skippy R. FEATURE: "Gold Cross HMMO" - Thank you for using a provider within your network by Al Speegle TRUTH IS STRANGER: ...and the truth shall set your brain to spinning out of control." By Brian Kelcher NOT SO GOOD NEWS: - Not so bad news, either by The Door Staff LOSER OF THE BI-MONTH - Dubya pleasure, Dubya fun by Robert Darden
Daffy Dictoators INTERVIEW: Fred Phelps - Billy Graham is the Antichrist? By Bob Gerzstyn INTERVIEW: Kate Clinton - George W is the Antichrist? By Becky Garrison CARTOONS: "Moses and his mother-in-law" by Rex Rubenzer and "Bummer" by Miller INTERVIEW: Dave McPherson - C.I. Scofield is the Antichrist? By Doug Duncan INTERVIEW: Ed Dobson/Cal Thomas - The media is the Antichrist by Doug Duncan ARTICLE: Miracles from Chillicothe- The Hold Spirit does not always come with good taste by Robert Flynn ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - Try to remember, that time in September ... by Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Religion and Sport on The Fox Faith Network - Recorded live in Feng Shea Stadium by Pete Court ARTICLE: Memo from God - The Lord feels that hybrid religions like "Jews for Jesus" are too confusing by Mark Levitt CARTOONS: "Woowee,! That was great! I've never seen anything like it before! Can you just do one more, and then I'll really believe whoever you said you were. By Glenn "Ralphie's gift of tongues wasn't well-received by the other dogs... by J. Green ARTICLE: If the Crippled Beggar Woman Who Sits Against the Wall of the Vatican Museum 12 Hours a Day Kept a Journal... - Maybe it's a test. By Butch D'Ambrosio CARTOONS: Which Circle by Jeff Friend and Chris Huber ARTICLE: Three Stooges Bible Study - Let my people go, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. By Todd Outcalt INTERVIEW: Monsignor Sotto Voce - The pope is the Antichrist by Thomas Shane LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: For once, type-written letters finally outnumber those scrawled in Crayola! CORRECTIONS & CLARIFICATIONS: Alleged misstatements grudgingly acknowledged THE LAST WORD: The science of rabble-rousing by Ole Anthony and Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Aint it the truth ... NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Not so bad news, either LOSER OF THE BI-MONTH: Have it your way, McVeigh by Robert Darden
The New Idolatry : Temptation Barbie INTERVIEW: Dick Detzner What is blasphemy? By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: Which Circle? By Jeff Friend & Chuck Huber INTERVIEW: Rodney Clapp A truce in the culture wars by Arsenio Orteza INTERVIEW: Dr. Christine Pohl America's hospitality sweetheart by John Carney CARTOONS: "So that's it? I'm dead?... by Dan Pagoda and "Can you tell me if these are worth anything?" by Johnny Hawkins FEATURE: Rent-a-Congregation Ad: Fill a pew, save a job by Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Heaven Bound - The End Times Adventure Continues: Apocalypse for kiddies by Tim Redden CARTOONS: "Rev. Brenneman's first and only healing service began with quite a challenge" and "This year I want a better ventriloquist" by Mueller ARTICLE: Jesus Boy and the Bones of Christ: Fiction for Fundies by Darrel Spenst CARTOONS: "It's worse than you think - it's the angel of debt" by Jennifer Berman and "Use the stem cells god gave you before somebody else does." By Mueller ARTICLE: Intermediate Athiest Arguments: Introducing the doctrine of plausible fallibility by Doug Fattig FEATURE: Rapture Theories You May Not Have Heard: Featuring the Neo-Gnositc Partial Rapture by Randy West ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels: Say a novena for November/December by Paul Sommerville FEATURE: My Favorite Things: The return of "Ben-Hinny -Hinn" by Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: Flatteries Not Included: You'd better not be nailing those things to My door, buddy. By Anthony Sacramone FEATURE: Parable of the Highly Effective Neighbor: Go in peace. In fact, go far, far away in peace by Blaine McCormick FEATURE: Amazing Grace: Wayne Dyer meets "Gilligan's Island." By Randy West ARTICLE: Christian College Girl Dumps Boyfriend in Order to "Date Jesus" Religion is a crutch by Ted Kluck ARTICLE: Pope Under Glass: Dialogue schmialogue by Kathy Shaidle FEATURE: Annotated Left Behind press Release: One press release. Fifty-three exclamation marks, and that doesn't count the words in all-caps, bold-face or underlined. CARTOONS: "I think I'm suffering from burnout" by Zahn and "40 day deodorant pads". FEATURE: Biblically Correct Math Problems for Home School Educators: How many chocolate bars must each student sell so they won't have to return to a school operated by the minions of Satan? LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Yada, Yada, Yada, Y'all. KORECKSHUNS AND CLARIFICATIONS:: You figure which one is which. LAST WORD: The Comfort of the Wheel by John Bloom, AKA Joe Bob Brigs TRUTH IS STRANGER: Same as it ever was NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Which is only marginally better than Not so Bad News by the Staff LOSER OF THE YEAR: CROUCHing tiger, hedden dragon. Frankly, we're ap-PAUL-ed. By Skippy R. MARGINALIA: You need to worry about your salvation if... by Barbara Astor
Southpark's Salvation: The Revelation of Kenny ARTICLE: The Search for the History Kenny — We've "liberated" a page from Spong's new opus! By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: A Letter from Osama — Bin Laden spills it all for you — "The Perils and Virtues of Living by the Sword by Alexander Lombard ARTICLE : "It's a Wonderful Taliban Life" — What if George found Zuzu's petals in Mazar-e-Sharif? By Skippy R. CARTOON: Which Circle? The latest from the "Four Spiritual Laws" brigade. By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber ARTICLE: Why Athiests Don't Exist — Why should they care" by Doug Fattig FEATURE: Gospel Roaches — They're everywhere! They're everywhere! By John Green INTERVIEW: Mark Levin — Keeping an eye on the Army of God — On the Front Lines with Soldiers in the Army of God. By Becky Garrison FEATURE: Form Letter from an Internet Church — Next up: dot.communion by Ed L Wier FEATURE: Least Popular Christian Self Help Books — How to Sue for Sexual Harassment if You are Touched by an Angel by Becky Garrison FEATURE: Religious Home Shopping Catalogues — A sure-fire cure for Post-Yule Depression by Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: Miracles from Chillicothe — The Holy Land will never be the same... by Bob Flynn ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels — Another reason to be embarrassed about February by Paul Somerville FEATURE: You Know It's Time to Volunteer to Teach Sunday School When...your child puts her entire allowance in the class offering, then refers to it as "seed money." By Tamara Jaffe-Notier ARTICLE: Plain Brown Computer — And lo, they stored the files on their hard drives, some unknowingly and in violation of local statutes. By Dan Murphy FEATURE: Here They Stand: How the Major Strands of Christianity Stack up .. or not, as the case may be. By Ben Johnson ARTICLE: The Democratic National Convention Proudly Presents: The Rev. Jesse "Action" Jackson vs. the Rev. Al "The Showstopper" Sharpton, Oh my! By Becky Garrison FEATURE: Selections from Mike Murdock's One Minute Manager's Bible — Take a deep breath and repeat after us. By James Bowley FEATURE: The Ballad of the PTL — Men who laugh and cry and yes; The strange men of the PTL by Ed L. Wier FEATURE: The Prayer of Jezebel. 1. God wants to proper YOU by giving YOU other people's property (1 Kings 21:7) by Todd Outcalt CARTOONS: " To Make Friends in Jesus" and "Chicken Soup for the very churched well lucadoed soul by Dan Pegoda ARTICLE: The Ultimate Survivor — Who will be the last moderate to survive at Southern Seminary? By Todd Outcalt FEATURE: Little Noted Moments in Religious History- And they'll be even LESS noted after this issue! By John Carney CARTOONS: " Biblical Budget Cuts" by Jennifer Berman and "Nice Jugs" by Judd TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Very much so. Complied by The Door staff LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Some civil, some war. Compiled by The Door staff CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap. Compiled by The Door Staff THE LAST WORD: When you feel as out of place as an Amish electrician or a Calvinist insurance salesman. By Ed L. Wier NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Is there any other kind? Compiled by The door staff LOSER OF THE BI-MONTH: The Army of God - you can't have it both ways. Bi-Abdullah Bar-Darden
Our Thirtieth Anniversary Issue, more or less - but who's counting? INTERVIEW: Jean Bethke Elshtain - Oxymoron alert! Jean's a "political ethicist." By Tamara Jaffe-Notier INTERVIEW: Tom Lehrer - Everybody's doing "The Vatican Rag" by Jamie Lee Rake CARTOONS: Which Circle? - Another boo boo for Bobo. By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber ARTICLE: The Future Movie Guide - Are you ready for "Buffy the Goliath Slayer? By Pete Court INTERVIEW: Ron Sider - How should we then respond? By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Retractions - our sincerest apologies to The Second Council of Chalcedon. By Anthony Sacramone FEATURE: Jerry Falwell's Buy-a-Bomb Fundraiser - For $1 million, get your own Tomahawk cruise missle, complete with a (short) message for Osama. By Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - Another reason to beware the Ides of March. By Paul Somerville CARTOONS: "We're going to have to enlarge the territory of this section." By Johnny Hawkins and "Screensavior" by Mueller. ARTICLE: Miracles from Chillicothe - A canticle for Weldon Wilkie by Bob Flynn CARTOONS: "There may be some people here today who don't know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior..."and "Not a Mac in sight ... all antiquated PC's with 28K modems and look, the mouse skips. Man, these guys didn't miss a trick!" ARTICLE: Shalom: The Games of Peace - A blast from our past, Door #9 (October/November 1972). By Ron Carlson ARTICLE: Prayer of Shabez - Have you ever wondered WHOSE territory Jabez was expanding into? By Tamara Jaffe-Notier FEATURE: Other Religions' Similarities to, Differences With Islam Examined - A scholarly look at auto da fe Lite. By Paul Somerville FEATURE: Talifammin' to the Patriotic Oldies - "God bless the Taliban, Even Iran hates us." By Kathy Harris - Zmudka FEATURE: I know You Are - The only religious Q & A where you are always right by Anthony Sacramone LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Anthrax-tested and cleared CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Didn't we do this last issue? THE LAST WORD: Goodness and mercy me! The power of the 23rd Psalm. ByOle Anthony and Skippy R. NOT SO GOOD NEWS: But oy vey - what can you do? LOSER OF THE BI- MONTH THE 'REV' PAT ROBERTSON - Diamond mines are a girl's best friend. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Pay No attention to that man behind the curtain.
The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune - Should We Judge Ken Lay? INTERVIEW: Ken Lay - Another Look . By Robert Darden CARTOONS: Which Circle. By Jeff Friend & Chris Huber INTERVIEW: Michael Colton - Finding a Place for the Modern Humorist, Post 9/11. By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels. By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Miracles from Chillicothe: Thurston, Elaine and Brother JerryVisit the Holy Land, Part II. By Bob Flynn FEATURE: Practical Jokes God Might Play: Perform an actual miracle on 34th Street. Jim Wyson FEATURE: Spiritual Troubleshooting . By Ed Wier ARTICLE: Televangelist Marilyn Hickey Arrested in Anthrax Scare : the frightening story of Widow's Miracle Flour revealed. By John Green ARTICLE: God's Helpline: Press 2 if you wish the person to be smited. By Mark Levitt ARTICLE: Spiritual Truth in Dr. Suess: Is Sam-I-am really Satan? By Pete Court FEATURE: Deal With It: Jesus had mother issues like you wouldn't believe. By Judith Hugg ARTICLE: Pilloried by the Five Pillars of Islam: Posting the Five Pillars of Islam outrages many. By Russell Blake ARTICLE: Church and State Reconcile! An intersection to Avoid. By Russell Blake CARTOONS: "I trust you all remembered to bring your ministry badges" and "Theocracy Today". ARTICLE: The Mistress January Show: Set your VCR's for another winner from the Christian Shopping Network. By Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Genesis Revisited: In the beginning, a Bang created the heavens and the earth. By Pete Court FEATURE: Signs You May Be Watching Too Much TBN: You own a Thomas Kinkade shower curtain and coffee mug. By David Ehmann CARTOONS: "No, Evolutionary Theory was only created in 1997. God simply made it appear as if it's been the dominant scientific model for the past century and a half." And " Ergonomic Hell" ARTICLE: A Fond Farewell to Pat Robertson: Forget St. Francis! Get the Pat Robertson Dashboard Doggie! By John Green CARTOONS: "Falwell is right! Attendance at an independent, fundamental, bible-believing Baptist Chruch is nesceesry for Salvation!" and "Zounds! You do have enough earned frequent-flyer points to get in!" ARTICLE: From the Book of Hape Male Zsardee'm: "Thou said nothing about toads." By Melinda Brindley CARTOONS: The Door Magazine Faxable Toon Page! LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: You pen 'em and we'll rend 'em. THE LAST WORD: Is "Christian businessman" an oxymoron? By Ole Anthony and Skippy R. NOT SO GOOD NEWS: We got a million of 'em. LOSER OF THE BI-MONTH: Naughty priests. By Joe Bob Briggs TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Only more so.
Scientology Unplugged INTERVIEW: Tory Bezazian - Scientology: Are we CLEAR on this? By Bob Gersztyn INTERVIEW: Betty Bowers - Is she a better Christian than you are? By Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Claudia Sherwood - the Women in Black attack! By Becky Garrison CARTOONS: "Which Circle" - Solomon would've written a song to Lorna. By Chris Huber and Jeff Friend ARTICLE: Least Known Teachings of Scientology - "Teachings," of course, being a relative term. By Becky Garrison CARTOONS: "Sensitivity Training" by Vojtko and "No,no,no...that's so 90's! This one means 'What Would Jabez Do?" by Jonny Hawkins. FEATURE: Scientology Dictionary of Selected Terms - Dang, and all this time we thought "Theta" referred to a sorority girl. By Becky Garrison CARTOONS: "Jake - how long have you been our youth pastor?" and "I'd be happy to serve as a church usher, but I don't beelieve in working on Sundays." By Vojtko FEATURE: Children's Letters to God - Jumpin' Jehovah! Tough talk for tykes. By Michael Barnett FEATURE: Selections from the New Prosperity Hymnal - Twisted takes on two timeless tunes. By Randall Pulver FEATURE: The God Card - If the diety fits, you must acquit. By Ted Kluck ARTICLE: Cracked Pots and Earthen Vessels - Further proof why these are called "The Dog Days." By Paul Somerville CARTOONS: "I knew it" and "We Want You... and your litle dog too! By Rex RuBenzer FEATURE: Eulogies, Inc - your beloved deserves the very best in mindless platitudes. By Chris Caldwell FEATURE: First Christian Church Bulletin - If you're not tithin', you'll soon be writhin.' By Deborah Myers ARTICLE: Jesus Seminar Revises Color Scheme - What's the color of truisms attributed to Jesus but actually spoken by Ben Franklin? By Lori Loson CARTOONS: "Oops, prayed to the wrong God." By Mueller and "And what am I supposed to say when my family asks why you're still a minor prophet?" by Habakkuk at Home CARTOONS: Faxable Toon Page LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: All duly screened and scanned. CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Some duly weaned and spammed. THE LAST WORD: Death is sooo final. By Ole Anthony with Skippy R. NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Most duly careened and panned LOSER: L. Ron's legacy TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Never dully deemed - all done with elan.
Religious Satire: The Last Temptation? INTERVIEW: Ralph Wood: The Comedy of Redemption: Humor in the Bible by Marla Pierson CARTOONS: Which Circle? By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber INTERVIEW: Father Jim Martin: Another Hero from Ground Zero by Becky Garrison FEATURE: Thomas Kinkade: Painter of Light or Prince of Darkness? More booms from Chick by John Green ARTICLE: A New Commandment - It's not that hard, you A$#&^% by Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: "It can store more than two billion commandments" by Bill Lee and "We caught Him Downloading Internet Prayers." By Roger Judd. FEATURE: J. Christ: A Live - Lose the Crown of Thorns, Baby by Mark Levitt ARTICLE: The One-Sentence Bible - For Yammering and Non-yammering Alike. By Judith Hugg FEATURE: Give - Wherein We Emasculate "The Street Where You Live." By Kathy Harris-Zmudka CARTOONS: Crockavangelist Hunter - You've Seen the Movie - Now See the Comic Strip! By Al Speegle, Jr. and Johnny Rutledge A LETTER FROM OUR PUBLISHER: - Uh, oh, Kiddies... Watch Your Wallets! By Ole Anthony INTERVIEW: Sara Dunne - More Lectures About Literature and Food. By John Carney ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - Down for the Mayan Long Count. By Paul Somerville FEATURE: A Pop Quiz for Unrelenting Secularists - Silly Rabbi, Trix are for Kids! By Barbara Astor CARTOONS: A Portfolio of Darren Regan Cartoons - A Gallery of "Toons from England's Finest. FEATURE: Questions Various Denominations Never Ask! ... at Least Out Loud. By Bob Flynn ARTICLE: Fat of the Land Church Review - Let's Not Talk About the Odious Goo Mrs. Grossman Ritualistically Tortures in Her Crock Pot by Morris Huntington II. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - Adroit Presentations, Curiously Accumulated. By Brian Kelcher and Skippy R. THE LAST WORD: Humility Begins at Home. By Ole Anthony and Skippy R. NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Presentations of an Adroit Curiosity. THEOLOGIAN OF THE YEAR: Buffy the Vampire-Slayer - This Blood's for You. By Skippy R. FEATURE: New Releases from 999 Records - Same as the Old Releases from 999 Records by Craig Butler.
Merry Christmas! INTERVIEW: Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull - sometimes being up a tree is a good way to get a handle on things. By Bob Gersytzn INTERVIEW: Lin Brehmer - Some people call it the Cosmic Muffin. I just call it rock 'n' roll by Tamara Jaffe-Notier ARTICLE: Oh Thank Heaven! - Home of the Big Gulp Communion. By Mike Stanton-Rich INTERVIEW: Peter Max - The zen of 108 portraits of the Dalai Lama. By Bob Gersztyn CARTOONS: Which Circle - The adventures of Bobo the EveryChristian continue. By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber ARTICLE: A King James Thanksgiving - Wherein we baketh the hallowed fruit and eateth it topped with emulsified cow's milk. By Bill Little CARTOONS: "That is strange. I'll send you for an amniocentesis." By Cooney and "Me? I thought up the slogan 'You may already have won a million dollars" by G. Abbott ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - November and December in religious history. By Paul Somerville FEATURE: Favorite Religious Ads - Crazed by creeping creeds. by Robert Flynn ARTICLE: Correspondence from the Filea of Glass House Healing Stones - Your sister in the greater universe, et al. By Pete Court ARTICLE: The Porpoise-driven church, Part II - They're mammals, stupid. By Philip Leiter ARTICLE: Hanukkah: Minding Our Own Beeswax - Please, don't wish us a Happy Hanukkah by Sally Sheklow ARTICLE: Is your Church Going POMO? - Ask any GenX POMO Deconstructing Truth Questioner. By Karen Haluza ARTICLE: Torched By an Angel - "You see, officer, it all began when I was riding my hog home from the Believer's Voice of Victory Conference." By Al Speegle, Jr. CARTOONS: "The gift of eternal life? How am I gonna return that the day after Christmas?" by Cooney and "3 French Hennys" by Mueller. ARTICLE: The Unseen Passenger - Don't just drive safe - drive saved! By John Green ARTICLE: An Abject Apology to the Sci-Geeks - "We're as sorry as the next guy. By Skippy R. FEATURE: From the Desk of John Ashcroft - Announcing NIPS: Not in Pews System by Kathy Harris-Smudka FEATURE: Intifada Man Answers Your Islamic Inquiries - Friend, you're not ready for martyrdom. By Kathy Harris-Zmudka THE LAST WORD: What's Holy About War? - When using the Big Guy's name is NOT a good idea. By Joe Bob Briggs FEATURE: Left Hanging - Things happen in EVERY chapter! By John Green LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: We read, then bleed by Brian Kelcher and Skippy R. FEATURE: The Even Newer Bible Dictionary - Liturgid: One rote prayer too many. By Pete Court NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Stupid religion tricks. Again. By the Door Staff LOSER OF THE BI-MONTH: Santa Claus - There ain't no sanity clause! By Robert Darden TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Dispatches from the other side of good taste. FEATURE: Afterlife Classifieds - CSWM seeking Savior. Height/weight proportionate by Karen Sneider
Honor Thy Father: The Gospel According To The Sopranos INTERVIEW: Chris Seay - Our very own consigliere's take on the capodecina himself. By Becky Garrison CARTOONS: Which Circle? Is this the episode where Bobo gets a goomar? By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber INTERVIEW: Dave Burchett - Would Jesus spend His time on this? By Elizabeth Boyd INTERVIEW: Brent Plate - Straight talk on culture. By John Carney CARTOONS: Failed Gideon Enterprises. By Dan Pegoda ARTICLE: Go Ahead...Praise My Day. By Todd Outcalt CARTOONS: "Steve realized with a start that he'd switched his ammeter for an e-meter" and "Hold this to your ear and you can hear the howling shriek of a cold and impersonal universe" by Pete Mueller FEATURE: Seven BreakThrough Secrets for Writing God's Little Best Seller. By R.J. Wieche FEATURE: Excerpts from Christian Décor the Home Accents and Furnishings Catalogue. By Ed L. Wier FEATURE: Secret Files of Project Veritas at Bob Jones University. By Daniel Whitfield ARTICLE: Death of a TV Salesman - A TBN elegy. Or... Mr. Crouch, your ride's here! By Al Speegle, Jr. FEATURE: A Southern Baptist Primer. By Robert Flynn ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels. By Paul Somerville CARTOONS: "Not a Mac in sight..." by R. Judd and "Don King James Bible" by Jonny Hawkins LETTERS TO THE EDITOR by Brian Kelcher and Skippy R. THE LAST WORD: Why "Investigations?" by Ole Anthony an Skippy R. NOT SO GOOD NEWS by the Door Staff LOSER OF THE BI-MONTH: The 'What Would Jesus Drive' Campaign. By Skippy R. FEATURE: Feast of Fools: A Letter to Paul Crouch. By Al Speegle, Jr. FEATURE: Listen Up, World! A televised address by His Almightyness the Lord. By Mark Levitt
Caught Between Iraq and a Hard Place - Islamic Stand-Up Azhar Usman INTERVIEW: Ashar Usman - "A Jew, a Baptist and an Imam walk into a bar...um...mitzvah!" By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: Which Circle? By Jeff Friend & Chris Huber INTERVIEW: Calvin Miller - Don't we ALL wish Christianity Today still had a sense of humor? By Tamara Jaffe-Notier ARTICLE: Parish Pitchmen to Pack Pews With Product Placement - Paying your monthly tithe...priceless. by Kathryn Casey INTERVIEW: Orson Scott Card - A Word from one of them Ladder-Day Saints. by Bob Gersztyn FEATURE: The French Fry in Genesis - a one-act play for one-track minds. by Gayle Avant ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - Doesn't the Bible say something about "date-setting"? by Paul Somerville ARTICLE: End-Times Expert Van Impe Adds Sports and Weather to His Faux Newscast - Our motto: "More Rexalla, All the Time." By Mark Linville ARTICLE: The Group at Soaring Dove Christian Hub, Part I - Meet the gang at your average, everyday singles ministry. by Jeff Friend FEATURE: Ten Commandments and the Televangelists: Scratch & Win Game! - Match the televangelist with the commandment he HASN'T broken yet! By Brad Whittington ARTICLE: The Adventures of Hucklebenny Hinn...Stealing apples with the Apple of God's Eye. by Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Quitting TBN Cold Turkey: The Journal - Shouldn't there be a TBN patch? By David Ehmann ARTICLE: Unsafe Sects: The Talk - How to practice safe sects. by Matthew Porter ARTICLE: Presidential Pay-Off Team Update...What they say. What they mean. By Phil Leiter CARTOONS: "Oops! We bombed 'em back to the jazz age!" By Mueller and "Though Jerry Lewis's conversion to snake handling appeared to be sincere, friends and family feared it was heading for disaster." ARTICLE: Scoop! Baskin-Robbins Hermeneutically Explained - Wherein we quote, for the first time, from A Greek-English Lexicon of the Septuagint. By Christopher Young LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Aw, quityerbellyachin'. ARTICLE: Church Chafing Under New U.N. Clergy Inspections - You want cream with your Kofi? By Douglas W Texter NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Yeah, but consider the alternative... ARTICLE: Stock in Satan's Supernatural Memory System Goes Public - Satan is now a division of Time-Borg-Warner. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: "McChurch on the Fly" by Jonny Hawkins CARTOONS: Faxable Toon Page! ARTICLE: The Group at Soaring Dove Christian Hub, Part II - Aubry Pickett assumes the (missionary) position. By Jeff Friend FEATURE: " In the Footsteps of Paul" Holy Land Tour - Get stoned with Stephen! By Sue Arnold ARTICLE: Christian Beer Guide & Sampler - What do the Swedes drink when the glogg runs dry? By Philip Lieter THE LAST WORD: Whatever evangelism is, it doesn't have much to do with televangelists. by Ole Anthony and Skippy R.
Harry Potter in The Lake of Fire INTERVIEW: Connie Neal - The Gospel According to Harry Potter: Reasonable words from a Fundamentalist's worst nightmare. By Becky Garrison CARTOONS: Which Circle - Playing it straight. By Huber and Friend ARTICLE: Harry Potter in the Lake of Fire - It was inevitable. By John Green INTERVIEW: The Blind Boys of Alabama - A trip down the Gospel Highway with Clarence Fountain: Giving the Good News a beat. By Bob Gerztyn FEATURE: Benny Hinn 2003 Partner Letter - Truth, one supposes, is indeed stranger than fiction. By John Green INTERVIEW: Quentin J. Schultze - A Spiritual Quest On the Information Highway: Joyfully go, boldly email. By Arsenio Orteza ARTICLE: The Pontiius "Pilates" Fitness Method - Straight from the man with the immaculately clean hands. By Pete Court ARTICLE: The Group at Soaring Dove Christian Hub, Part 3 - Showing us the money. by Jeff Friend CARTOONS: "The Swiss Army Bible" by Roger Judd and "Chicken Soup for Beached Whales" by Pete Mueller ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - Like sands through the hourglass, the days of our lives. by Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Grim Reaper Has Change of Heart - Don't fear the Reaper, kiddies. By Mark Linville ARTICLE: Evidence That Demands More Evidence - A campus outreach crusade by Josh McVowell, BS, Intellectual. By Philip Leiter ARTICLE: Bush Urges American Public Not to Convert to Islam - Bubba says, "Pretty please." By Mark Linville FEATURE: Judean Rabbinate, Inc - The Lord's final performance review. By Danny Murphy CARTOONS: "Let's hope this isn't one of those ungodly new trends" by Pete Mueller and "You mean you didn't even 'Focus Group' them first?" by Vojko ARTICLE: Oral Roberts University to Offer New Degree Program - Organ donors desperately needed. By Andrew Miller LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Followed by "words" to the editor. By Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: The Door staff - It's twue! It's twue! NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Not so fast, Boudreaux. By Skippy R. ARTICLE: My Word-Faith Journal - The diary of a serial televangelist in the making. By Al Speegle, Jr CARTOONS: Faxable Toon Page THE LAST WORD: Nibbling toward oblivion. By Ole Anthony and Skippy R.
The Logos of LEGOs: Building Blocks of the Universe INTERVIEW: The Logos of Legos: The Rev. Brendan Smith - And you thought atoms were the building blocks of the universe... By John Carney CARTOONS: Faxable 'Toon Page: New cartoons and not a moment too soon! INTERVIEW: Scroll Man: Peter Flint - Bringing the Dead Sea Scrolls to Life. By Jeremy Lott ARTICLE: Reality Church - What happens when youth sponsors are assigned a tribe of 40 middle-schoolers for a 48-hour lock-in? By Ron Benson ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - What a difference a day makes! By Paul Somerville FEATURE: The Seventh Sign Something is Wrong at Trinity Broadcasting Network - Further proof God has a sense of humor. By David Ehmann INTERVIEW: The Kingdom of Baseball: Christopher Evans and Bill Herzog - Why there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and 108 stitches in a baseball. By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: France Declares War on Terrorism - The horror, the horror... by David P Owen CARTOONS: "Populate the Earth?" by Kevin Frank and "Seven habits of highly effective people" by R. Judd ARTICLE: Why Do They Hate Us? We have met the enemy... By George Szabo FEATURE: Hinn Utilities/TBNN - Products you didn't know you couldn't live without. By Brian Mcmillen ARTICLE: When God WhispersYour Name, Part 2: How to Write Like Me, Max Lucado - Lots of chapter headings. Lots of white space. Lots of padding (Like The Door!) by Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Health Disclosure of TBN - When truth in advertising goes very, very wrong. By Al Speegle, Jr. FEATURE: Theological Terms from the Esoteric Dictionary of Quasi-Spiritual Mistaken Knowledge -" Pteredactor" - A theological dinosaur known for biting large holes in the text. By Randall F. West FEATURE: New Age Lullaby - Hush little baby now don't you squall, Momma's gonna buy you a crystal ball. By Gary Sweeten FEATURE: Wordgame -A crossword puzzle for people at the crossroads... By Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: The Group at Soaring Dove Christian Hub #4. The Call of the Mild: The Training - Under-promise and over-deliver. By Jeff Friend CARTOONS: " Stranded in the desert with Robert Schuler" by Roger Judd and "Yeah, I invited Christ into my life, once, for about six weeks... but it just got to where we were constantly fighting." By Dan Pegoda ARTICLE: Miracles from Chillicothe: Testifying - Ruby Waldrip testified that for years she had prayed for patience and last week the Lord sent her a slow maid. By Bob Flynn ARTICLE: Fruit of the Vines: Brotherhood of the SBC - The Rev. Jerry V. prays for the Pope's eventual salvation. By C. Wayne Huff FEATURE: Promise Keepers Hope to Broaden Their Relevance with Launch of New Women's Auxiliary - Under promise-keeper and over-deliver. By Tracy Green LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Chew on THESE little beauties a while. By Skippy R. FEATURE: The Screwtape E-mail - C.S. Lewis for the X-treme Generation. By Al Speegle, Jr. NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Not So Good News for the Modern Man and Woman. By The Door Staff TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: If it wasn't so, we would have told you. THE LAST WORD: Gain ain't godliness. By Ole Anthony and Skippy R.
National Lampoon's Scott Rubin Answers to a Higher Authority INTERVIEW: National Lampoons' Moral Compass: Scott Rubin by Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Finding the Connection Between Artist and Theologian: Robert Olen Butler by Greg Garrett INTERVIEW: Rootin' Out Religion in a Redneck Nation: Michael Graham by John Carney CARTOONS: Faxable Toon Page - Don't get lax: Use your fax! (To the max!) ARTICLE: Dr. Mike Murdock's Wisdom Keys - Excess is the key to success. by John Green FEATURE: A Very Special Offer for Very Special TBN Partners - Are you listed (for a small donation) in The Lamb's Book of Life? By John Green ARTICLE: Gordon's Best Day - Every time a cash register rings, an angel gets his wings. By Ruth Lee FEATURE: The Parable of the Good Samaritan - Stick a fork in him - he's done. By Paul Somerville ARTICLE: The Prayer of Lamech - If Jabez makes money seven-fold, truly Lamech can make money seventy-sevenfold. By James Crossan CARTOONS: "Of course I know that's not what the bible really says... But he's so well spoken and they have guitars and drums... and he has so much hair... by R. Judd and "Wait a minute..." by Dick Hafner ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - It's that time of the month... by Paul Somerville FEATURE: The Ten Commandments According to Bill Bennett - Ten will get you one that you haven't seen these little beauties. By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Papal Bull - We command thee and thy minions of lawyers, judges, journalists, paparazzi and The Door to relent from thy excessively harsh treatment of The Church's clergy. By C.B. Mosher FEATURE: Mormons Gone Wild! Another beet-red Spring Break special from Snoop Doggy Dog Productions! By Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: Call of the Mild #5: The Heart of Aubrey - The horror! The horror! (Part II) by Jeffrey Friend CARTOONS: "Jerusalem Books & Gifts - Available in August - the NEW Testament! By Dick Hafner and "Let's hold until our client base is together by Pete Mueller LOSER OF THE Bi-MONTH: Heavenly Moon-shine - It's time this Moon went into eclipse by Skippy R. CARTOONS: "Mormon Crickets" by A. Pedersen and "Pull my finger!" FEATURE: All I Really Needed to Know to be a Televangelist I Learned as a Used Car Salesman - Once it's pulled off the lot, it's no longer your concern. By Janet Snider LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Oh, how the nations rage! By Skippy R. ARTICLE: Honey, I Shrunk the Prophet! Josh McVowel Apologetic Strategies: Lesson #342 - John McVowell explains everything for you. By Phillip Leiter NOT SO GOOD NEWS: The acquiring of fundage is, like, the rootage of all evil. By Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: It was the last time we looked... by The Door staff THE LAST WORD: Things I thought everybody knew. By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
Bibleman vs. The Flying Karamazov Brothers INTERVIEW: Willie "Bibleman" Ames - Willie aims for "Helly"wood by Becky Garrison FEATURE: Bibleman vs Jim Bakker - Always bet on the guy in spandex by Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: Flying Karamazov Brothers - We send our own Grand Inquisitor after the Karamazovs by Tamara Jaffe-Notier. ARTICLE: Cease and Desist - It's clobberin' time! By Aaron Alford ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - Like grains of sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives by Paul Somerville ARTICLE: Bob the Angel - As a species, we're really a buncha maroons by Earl R Wilder ARTICLE: The PAN Outbreak - Homeland Security is no laughing matter, pal by Al Speegle, Jr. FEATURE: An Open Letter to Friends of The Door Magazine - Once again, we're askin' you to pony up a little do-re-me. FEATURE: Welcome to Serpent Creek Community Snake-Handling Church - This is why it is so important to take time each day to test our faith with a snake of our choosing by Aaron Alford FEATURE: Endtimes Generalized Anxiety Disorder - What happens when you dream of Hal Lindsay in Apocalyptic pajamas by Randal F. West CARTOONS: " Our Jon has a calling, dear" by Scott Arthur Masear and "I may not be a 'wise man', but at least I never got so lost I had to ask Herod for Directions." By Roger Judd FEATURE: Gay Caballaros, the S'preme Court and the Rev. Billy Mack's Texas-Sized BBQ - At least our lust is gender-correct by Mark Fisher FEATURE: The Game of Christian Life - Go directly to hell. Do Not pass "Go." Do not collect $200 by Cathy Sproul ARTICLE: Machiavelli and Associates - Remember, Junior: fortuna e una donna by Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Call of the Mild #6: The Journey - On the road again to Altai City... by Jeff Friend CARTOONS: "You have bowels of holly." By David Cooney and "Four Wisemen" by Dan Foote FEATURE: Biblical Figures Clash With Modern Culture - Let my people go - wireless! By Mark Levitt CARTOONS: "Dirty Diapers" by Dan Foote and "Look at all those stars, Gordon. They remind me of how insignificant you are" by Todd Condron FEATURE: Isaiah's Rejection Letter - Your interview was so electrifying that our personnel board feels you have great potential as a future church leader by Tamara Jaffe-Notier FEATURE: Charismatic Challenge - The race to succeed Joel Osteen by Greg Horton FEATURE: Job Opportunity with Marilyn Hickey Ministries - Define "opportunity" by Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: Are There Homosexual Saints? Don't ask, don't tell, don't do by Joe Bob Briggs LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Our readers reach, retch and roll. FEATURE: A Beginner's Guide to Christianese - Just how long IS "for a season" exactly? By Abigail Batton CARTOONS: "Stained Glass Window XP" by Scott Arthur Masear and "When Ashcroft gets here, let's act gay." By Mueller NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Say it ain't so, Joe by Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION - The proof is in the pictorial puddin'. THE LAST WORD: Surprised by Joy by Ole Anthony and Skippy R.
The Heretic ARTICLE: The Heretic - How Benny Hinn got the word from on high. By Joe Bob Briggs FEATURE: Paige Patterson: Big Lame Hunter - Paige Patterson takes aim. It's time to get out those Crayolas, kiddies! By Skippy R. INTERVIEW: Adrian Plass - The Best Christian Writer You've Never Heard of. By Emily Winslow Stark INTERVIEW: Jerry B. Jenkins - An exclusive interview with the guy who was left behind when Tim LaHaye signed his big secular deal. By Christopher Fisher CARTOONS: "Pastor Rushmore was doing his best to cope with the sudden increase in church attendance." By Scott Masear and "The way I see it, there are two kinds of people in this world." By Todd Condron ARTICLE: Rev. Gene Ewing's "Make-a-Million" Religious-Writing Correspondence Course - Be one of my minions! Make millions! By Al Speegle ARTICLE: Winning at "Private Time" - How not to be one of the "Unpopular Christians". By Abigail Batton CARTOONS: "I can't shake the feeling that the meaning of life is passing me by!" by Jack Corbett. And "I feel at peace, father, knowing my enemies & tormentors will burn forever in hell." By Jack Corbett FEATURE: Gary Ezzo's "Leading Churches MY Way" - Dealing with children and dealing with church boards requires essentially the same skill. By Kelley Reep ARTICLE: Mike Yaconelli - Founder, brother, friend. By Robert Darden FEATURE: The Self-Conscious Consciousness-of-Self Catalog - Home of the Dalai Lama's Fat Burning Workout. By Randall F. West ARTICLE: Controversial Book Selection Splits UNC Campus...Again - The Bible, by God. By Kelley Reep ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels - Another couple of months, another couple of martyrs. By Paul Somerville FEATURE: More Billboard & Bumper Sticker Revelations - What part of "cut off your hand" didn't you understand? - God. By Chris Towles ARTICLE: The Call of the Mild #7: The Teammate - Aubrey finally meets Kurt and Mongolia will never be the same. By Jeff Friend. FEATURE: Bob the Builder - Caulked for me. By Timothy E Schenck LOSER-OF-THE Bi-MONTH - Uh, that'd be us... The Door Staff CARTOONS: Faxable 'Toon Page FEATURE: The Hardshell Baptist Outreach Horoscope - Today you begin the first of many days of a slow, painful death. By Scott Lacoute LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: You scrawl, we crawl. The Door Staff ARTICLE: Oldest Church Member Found to be Fraud - Well, maybe "fraud" is a bit harsh. By Scott Lacoute NOT SO GOOD NEWS: So what other kind is there these days? By Skippy R. CARTOONS: Cultural Jet Lag - The 11th Commandment: Obey the law... by Jim Siergey THE LAST WORD: Logos without the logo. By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
We Got Him! Pat Robertson, our first "Lifetime Loser" INTERVIEW: Kimberly Winston - Finding faith beyond faith-healing. By Bob Gersztyn ARTICLE: From John Hagee Ministries... SpongBob Squarepants: Satan's Ploy for Your Child's Soul. By Todd Outcult ARTICLE: Zendergarten. By Ed. L Weir INTERVIEW: Marcia Ford - Memories of a misfit. By Becky Garrison FEATURE: The Talmudic TV Guide. By Kathy Harris-Smudka CARTOONS: "My ears are burning" by April Pederson and "Hiking trails in hell!" by Jack Corbett ARTICLE: Crackpots and Earthen Vessels. By Paul Somerville CARTOONS: "The prayer group share their experiences of brokenness" by Darren Regan and "Hey you, molten lava shower before going in the Lake of Fire" By Greg Sturko FEATURE: Robertson's Operation Tuna Surprise. By Phil Leiter ARTICLE: The Weather Prophet Forecast. By Chris Fisher FEATURE: New Seminary Feasibility Study. By Al Speegle, Jr. CARTOONS: "And we would like to thank Mr Langway for making sure we made a smooth transition from fearing each other to fearing God." By Pete Mueller and "It wasn't a deliberate deception, I understand... but I doubt all these people will." By Roger Judd FEATURE: Emoticons for the Modern Church. By Pete Court FEATURE: Signs You'll Soon See in the Lord's Waiting Room. By Mark Levitt FEATURE: What on Earth are they Talking About? Why Christians shouldn't go into the poster business. By Pete Court CARTOONS: "Martin Luther's First Posting" by Roger Judd and "Not a Good Book, A Great Book" by Bob Schochet ARTICLE: Atheist Sees Virgin Mary in Tortilla, Sues Cafeteria. By David Sklar FEATURE: Scenarios That Justify Family Christian Stores Opening on Sundays. By Greg Horton ARTICLE: Confession is Good for the Soul, Or Not - An Easter essay. By Julie E. Painter ARTICLE: Robertson Announces Dieu Not God of the Bible. By David Sklar FEATURE: Memo on Prayer in public Schools. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: "School Prayer" by Pete Mueller and "The little known 5th horseman of the Apocalypse." By Rex Rubenzer ARTICLE: Call of the Mild #8: Incommunicado - Judith and Kurt? By Jeff Friend FEATURE: Word of Faith Bumper Stickers We'd Like to See. By Al Speegle, Jr LOSER OF THE BI-MONTH: Pat Robertson, our first "Lifetime Loser!: by The Door Staff FEATURE: R. C. Sproul Talking Bedtime Doll. By Ted Kluck LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: By The Door Staff FEATURE: Pat's Prayer Book - "...as we assault our enemies." By Phil Leiter NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? By The Door Staff THE LAST WORD - One reader's Passion. by Jody Dean
This Clear and Present Darkness ARTICLE: This Clear and Present Darkness — An exciting excerpt from the upcoming novel by Frank Peretti and Karl Rove. By Al Speegle, Jr. INTERVIEW: Keepin' it real in Uptown Chicago: John Trott. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: Which Circle? Welcome to the barracks of righteousness. By Chris Huber and Jeff Friend INTERVIEW: Hooking the Big Fish in the Land of Myth: Daniel Wallace. By Becky Garrison ARTICLE: Call of the Mild #9: The Loin King — Kurt leaves, Mendee stays and a surprise guest arrives! By Jeff Friend FEATURE: School of New Icthus Cartoons: If at first you can't exceed... By Jess - MacCallum FEATURE: Don't curse the Darkness...Call Angel of Light Productions: New! From Strang Productions! By Aaron Alford CARTOONS: "Do you think the couch was made by the same angry God who made George Bush?" by Pete Mueller and "Can you hear me now?" by April Pedersen FEATURE: Grandma Smithers' Rod Parsley Diary: Curse you, Columbus Dispatch! By Al Speegle, Jr. ARTICLE: The Thin Young Ruler — Have it Yahweh! By Wyndham Thiessen ARTICLE: The Self-Fest — A paean to radiant energy and positive hair. By Ed L. Wier ARTICLE: The Return of the King Postponed for The Return of the King - Another reason why we love this Guy. By Aaron Alford CARTOONS: Which Circle? Welcome to the barracks of righteousness, The Sequel. By Chris Huber and Jeff Friend FEATURE: Deconstructing Nursery Rhymes and folktales of the Church — Featuring The Tale of the Little Red Hinn. By Kelley Reep FEATURE: Charisma House Publishing Executive's Daily Weblog — Home of the new "Galactically Fat Mega-Spaced Courier" font. By Jamie Crossan ARTICLE: Yo! Christian Rappers Contextualize Evangelism with 'Rivalries' and...stuff — Props to da Man. Peace. By Howard Bowman FEATURE: Cleft Behind — What good is a plumber's helper against such evil in these days? By Skippy R. FEATURE: Paul's Letter to the Californians — For you were bought for a price, and it wasn't on Ebay, bub. By Craig Bowron with Peter Bochlke CARTOONS: "String theory — I must remember to create the universe." By April Pedersen and "The Porpoise-Deiven Church" by Tim Nyberg LOSER OF THE BI- MONTH: The Tulsa Airmen and Their Magnificent Flying Machines — From Gospel blimps to Gospel pimps. By Pete Evans and Todd Bates ARTICLE: Satinism and Stitchcraft — Find yourself a Godly woman who cooks and appreciates a well-made workbench. By Robert A Sloan CARTOONS: "Enlighten, Outlighten" by Jack Corbett and "Predestination Seminar" by Roger Judd LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Dis and dat and chewin' the fat. By Skippy R. FEATURE: Pastor Tilton's Seed-Faith Lottery Tickets — The more you play, the more you save. By Al Speegle, Jr. NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Dat and dis — and something's amiss. By Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGERTHAN FICTION: Dit and dat and imagine that! THE LAST WORD: Ole of Arcadia? By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
You're Fired! INTERVIEW: You're fired! The Prince of Lies waxes eloquent on love and romance: Satan. By Ed. L. Weir FEATURE: The Passion - You knew it was coming... by Jim Siergey INTERVIEW: The financial cost of discipleship: Larry Rice. By John Carney CARTOONS: A School of New Icthus Cartoons, The Sequel - If at first you don't recede... By Jess MacCallum INTERVIEW: Everything old is new again: Sharan Newman. By Emily Winslow Stark FEATURE: Selections from the Apostle Paul Crouch's Letter to the Corinthians (TBN Translation) - The message of TBN is foolish for those who are heresy hunters, but for us it is the road to prosperity. By Jeff Carter ARTICLE: Fundy School: How to Make the Most of Being Right - Gleanings from the filing cabinet at the Proper Distance Baptist Church. By Phillip Leiter ARTICLE: Excommunication Craze Sweeps U.S. Catholics - Bishop Raymond Burke opens a can o' worms. By Robert Fulton INTERVIEW: Girl meets magazine: Lauren Winner. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier ARTICLE: An Intellectual Approach to Dealing with Jehovah's Witnesses - The lesser-known eleventh plague, known in French as la Peste ennuyante. By Ross Raffin CARTOONS: "Airport - Moonies are here, here, here!!! By Jack Corbett and "Just what we've been looking for... a happy medium" by Todd Condron ARTICLE: The Call of the Mild #10 Final Call - I was a missionary once... By Jeff Friend FEATURE: My Little Baal - Moloch and Karnak sold separately. By Aaron Alford FEATURE: Family Christian Stores Fail-Safe Marketing Plan - We take our ministry mission seriously. By Jameson A Rathers CARTOONS: "I'll grant you a death wish" By Peter Mueller, "I'm getting sick and tired of not having a thing to wear!" By Bob Zahn, "I just don't think you're cut out for this life." By Jack Corbett, and "Forgive, forgive, forgive. That's all you ever do!" By Bob Schochet. ARTICLE: Chicken Soup for the Damned - A cup of cold water could bring gratitude, but dirt, demons and décolletage brought donations. By Robert Flynn ARTICLE: Thos. Nelson Announces New Line of Relevant-Looking Bibles - Specialty Bibles to serve the needs of the Christian community! By Joy Lanzendorfer INTERVIEW: Happy, happy, joy, joy! Joel Osteen. By Chris Whitehead FEATURE: The Fundamentalist Bookstore and Gehenna Books Catalog - The end of the beginning... by Bob Barr LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: And lo, the heathens rage! Edited by Skippy R. ARTICLE: a Greeter Eluded - Watch out for those new high-resolution optical sensors. By Steve Marshwiggle NOT SO GOOD NEWS: The heathen rage goes low! Annotated by Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Low heathens are all the rage! Inoculated by Skippy R. THE LAST WORD: Leap and the net will appear. By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R. FEATURE: The Apostle - How do you parody a parody? By Jim Siergey
Jiminy Cricket! It's The Gospel According to Disney INTERVIEW: The Midrash of Mickey: Mark Pinsky. By Becky Garrison INTERVIEW: The only author that anyone has ever heard our publisher recommend: Gerhard Forde. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: Which Circle? By Jeff Friend and Chris Huber INTERVIEW: Rainy day theologians 12 and 35: Scott Marshall. By Becky Garrison CARTOON: "I've tried to live my life according to the lyrics of the Bob Dylan Songbook." By Jack Corbett ARTICLE: Do Cucumbers Count? Come, let us reason together with herbivores. By David Werther FEATURE: Advice from Dr. James Dobson - Daring to discipline the strong-willed president. By Becky Garrison FEATURE: A Short Glossary of Terms for the Serious Student of Contemporary Theology - You should know this stuff, Boudreaux. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: "My strict religious values will not affect the manner in which I loot your pension fund." By Pete Mueller and "Death is booked. I'm disfiguring injury." By Pete Mueller. FEATURE: What's in a Name? ACNE is the acme of church monikers! By C. McNair Wilson FEATURE: Top Ten Christian Reality Shows - Don't miss Big Fat Obnoxious Pastoral Candidate. By Dr. Bill Fleming ARTICLE: The Dumb Spake - Teaching Vulcans the Vulgate. By Steven Marshwiggle FEATURE: Legal Notice: Civil Action No. A-777777-04 - Please do not call the court. By Judith Hugg FEATURE: Handbook of Odd Denominations - New Wesleyans - Unitard-wearing disciples of Wesley Crusher. By Randall E. West CARTOONS: Fish and cross by Jack Corbett and "No, son, god isn't going to double click on us." By Scott Arthur Masear ARTICLE: Wisdom from a park bench-those wacky Lutherans... By Al Scheider FEATURE: Evangelical Monopoly - Go directly to Hell. Do not pass Go. By Ted Kluck ARTICLE: A Partial Lexicon of the Church Growth Movement - Seeker: Anyone who wanders in the door, or anyone we can coax in the door. FEATURE: Top 10 Judgement Day Excuses - "Sin Boldly" - it seemed like such a good idea at the time. By Ruth Lee FEATURE: Letter from King David to a Teen-Age Absalom - Thy mother is neither thy maid nor thy chariot chauffer... By Steve Case ARTICLE: God's CSI - Fewer words in the Bible that end in "th". By Mark Levitt CARTOONS: "Hell for people who file frivolous lawsuits." By Rex Rubenzer and "Pascal's Wager" by April Pedersen ARTICLE: Pagans Accidently Co-opt Christian Teaching - By Jove, they've got it! By Tamara Jaffe-Notier CARTOONS: "Eve is your best creation yet, God! Uhm, I could spare a few more ribs." By C Towles and "Dawn of the merely living" By Peter Mueller CARTOONS: Jack T. Chick, this was your life! By. C. Towles ARTICLE: Gay Marriages Threaten... um...Something, Probably - The only way to preserve separation of church and state is if the government does whatever we tell it to. By David Sklar CARTOON: "Chad and I met at Promise Keepers." By Roger Judd ARTICLE: The Second-Oldest Profession - And only a tad less seedy than the first! By Terry Burlison CARTOONS: "This parallel universe theory is interesting, Dave, tell me more." By Scott Arthur Masear and "Please, Lord, let me grow legs" By Scott Arthur Masear LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Eggin' on the editors. Edited by Skippy R. ARTICLE: The Music Wars - If this choir were run properly, geriatric misery-guts like you wouldn't get a look-in. By Wendy Noble NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Editing the egg-heads. By Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Heading off the exits. By the Door Staff THE LAST WORD: The Disciples" Prayer. By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
The Purpose-Driven Wife – She has it all... at Southwest Creekwood Family Faith Mall ARTICLE: From the Files of Southwest Creedwood Family Faith-Mall - The photo of you in a thong bikin advertising a Troybuilt snow blower caught me off-guard. By Jeff Hopkins CARTOONS: Which Circle? Requiem for a tract-man. By Chris Huber and Jeff Friend INTERVIEW: John Spalding - The journey along one pilgrim's digression. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier ARTICLE: DaySpring Hills Church and Country Club - Would you like to start with an appetizer, perhaps? By Al Speegle ARTICLE: The Thermostat - "Lizard!" "Hot head!" "Cold heart!" By Steven Marshwiggle INTERVIEW: Winifred Gallagher - Finding God in the science. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier. ARTICLE: Theologians Propose New Theory of Republican Inerrancy - Whatever the Republican Party intends to teach is to be considered inerrant in application. By Howard Bowman INTERVIEW: Rick Ross - The personality of a cult. By Pete Evans FEATURE: Fundamentalist Bookstore and Gehenna books Holiday Catalog - Let's put the "X" back in Christmas! By Bob Barr FEATURE: Pimp My Bible! Requests for airbrushed flames will not be honored - it's a hell thing. By Greg Horton FEATURE: Top 12 Sermon Titles of Joel Osteen - "Even When We Lose Our bibles, Our Message Never Cries." By Chris Whitehead CARTOONS: "Dougie was 'gifted' at collecting the offering." By Darren Regan FEATURE: The TXT Messaging Bible - N d beginN wz d Word. By Al Speegle CARTOONS: "Stairway to Heaven" by Adam Rust and "Sorry, it must've slipped past my spell checker." By David Cooney FEATURE: Timeless Quotes from Famous Jewish Mothers - Noah's Mom: "So it's raining. You're not sugar; you won't melt." By Ruth Lee ARTICLE: The Gospel According to Popeye - That Popeye himself is the heroic Christ-figure is plain enough even for conservative Southern Baptists in Dallas to grasp. By Robert Fulton ARTICLE: Messianic Episcopalians Ordain Goy Bishop - There is never, ever a reason to change settled church policy, even for a pun or typographical error. By Howard Bowman ARTICLE: Holographic Bands Enhance Praise and Worship: Watch as contextualized youth workers, complete with thick glasses and pocket protectors, cheer on enhanced musicians. By Howard Bowman CARTOONS: "The Ghost of Christmas Matrix" by Pete Mueller and "Chicken poop on my sole. Why? What'd you think I said?" by Paul Pell FEATURE: See Us at the Pole - A whole school year's worth of witnessing by example in fifteen minutes. By Christopher Fisher FEATURE: Urgent Request! Benny Learns from Foreign Fund-raising Techniques - To: CARTOONS: "What did Santa bring Baby Jesus?" By Bob Vojtko and "I can't sit on his lap. I'm Santa Claustrophobic." By David Cooney ARTICLE: Stern Makes Jump to Christian Radio - Every time the church bells ring, the seventh caller will be entered in a drawing to win a copy of Rick Warren's new book. By David Brazeal FEATURE: More Insight from The Bible Code - Evangelist + Evil's Agent. By Al Speegle, Jr. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: You'll yawn in the heather over this stuff. Sorted by Skippy R. ARTICLE: Wake up, Leatherboy! An Open Letter to Franklin Graham - No one wants to send their shoeboxes for the little kids to a pain in the neck. By Judith Hugg CARTOONS: "Shriner Funeral" By Rex Rubenzer and "See if you can get him to torment something." By Pete Mueller NOT SO GOOD NEWS: We searched hither and yon for this stuff. By Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Stuff came hither to us from yon and far. Anointed by The Door staff THE LAST WORD: Following the moveable feast. By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
A Tributte to Our Founder: MIKE YACONELLI, God's Holy Fool ARTICLE: Mike Yaconelli Tribute - Um, and you may have noticed something different abut us this time around, too. By Robert Darden ARTICLE: A Man and a Door: Remembering Mike Yaconelli. By John Carney ARTICLE: It's Time to Party - Christians need to practice more than piety. By Mike Yaconelli INTERVIEW: One Life Revolution - You are the coolest kid - God, I love you. By Peggy Wehmeyer ARTICLE: Gospel Lies - Our job is not to convince the world how great and beautiful and successful we are. By Mike Yaconelli INTERVIEW: Martin Marty Interview - Wrestling with God and Luther. By Ralph Asher ARTICLE: Can we talk? - Father, didn't we fight pornography in Your name? By Mike Yaconelli CARTOONS: Which Circle? - Wherein Bobo gets ecstatic for Jesus. By Chris Huber and Jeff Friend ARTICLE: The terror of Inbetweenness - It's like swinging on a trapeze. By Mike Yaconelli FEATURE: Christian Franchise Opportunities - Have it Yahweh! By Edward Wier ARTICLE: Visitation Team Raid - Shaggy has a close encounter. By Steven Marshwiggle FEATURE: Mammongram Alert - You could be at risk! By John Green FEATURE: Reasons You Might be Refused Communion - Spreading Nutella on the communion bread. By Matthew Schultz CARTOONS: "Father Janus was always assigned the task of explaining church doctrine and church practice." By Jess MacCallum and "Hey - that philosophy of life is from a Billy Joel song!" By Jack Corbett FEATURE: God's NEW Bumper Stickers - What happens in Vegas...still gets back to Me. By Kyron Millard ARTICLE: No Child LEFT BEHIND - Combining literacy and leftovers in a perfect circle. By John Green FEATURE Parsley Lip-Synched; Parishiioners Crestfallen - Who dat who say "Who dat?" By Mark Linville CARTOONS: Popular O.T. Tee-Shirts - King David Absolom, Noah, Deborah, Samuel. By Robert Darden ARTICLE: Christian School Essay Responses - Jesus loves the little children. Why would anyone want to eat them? By Keith E. Gogan FEATURE: Watchful Eye Associates - Shouldn't you do background checks? By John Green CARTOONS: - "Of course I'm cheating. What a stupid question!" By Bob Zahn CARTOONS: Pastoral Selection Committee. By Scott Arthur Masear ARTICLE: The Emergency Alternative Medical Team - Who you gonna call? By Pete Court FEATURE: Testimonials for Upcoming Releases in the "Chicken Soup" Series - We're still waiting for Chicken Soup for the Struggling Religious Humor and Satire Magazine. By Al Speegle Jr. CARTOONS: "Build Thine Own Ark." By Bob Vojtko, "The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth" By Bob Schochet, and " School of Evangelism" By Roger Judd ARTICLE: Resort-ing To Jesus - Announcing the 401(k)hrist. By Philip Leiter ARTICLE: The Changing of the Guard - Reflections on the passing of the Season of Satire. By Mike Yaconelli FEATURE: Lawful but Not Expedient - A Post-Modern Approach to I Corinthians 10:23. By Bill Westafer LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Pandering the Proles. Edited By Skippy R. CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS FEATURE: The Ten Commandments, 2005 Edition - Anonymous cybersex is iffy. By Kyron Millard CARTOONS: "Fish Baptism" By Scott Arthur Masear, and "St. Peter is on break with St. Paul - I'm St. Minneapolis." By Jack Corbett NOT SO GOOD NEWS: Gleanings from the God-forsaken. Edited by Skippy R. TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION: Snippets from Beyond Time. By The Door Staff THE LAST WORD: A handful of nails. By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
GLORY! Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins are LEFT BEHIND! ARTICLE: Left Behind: Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins - That's another fine predicament you've got me I, Tim. By Aaron Alford INTERVIEW: Jerry Jenkins Interview: A rare interview with the 42nd most powerful man in show business. By Becky Garrison CARTOONS: Which Circle? - Bobo obtains Christ-centered clarity. By Chris Huber and Jeff Friend FEATURE: Enneagram Types for Church Members - It's pronounced "any-uh-gram" by the way. By Ian Eastman and Brian Eck FEATURE: The 23rd Google - I do not possess the fear of badness. By Blaine McCormick INTERVIEW: Robert Darden Interview - People Get Ready for a new history of Black gospel music. By Bob Gerstyzn ARTICLE: Parsley Named "Missionary to the Intellectually Challenged" - Pastor Parsley, he look and talk dumb his own self so nobody feel, you know, bad or stupid or somethin'.. By Mark Linville CARTOONS: "It's not the prodding or the probing, my biggest fear is that we'll end up as characters in some Tim LaHaye Book." By Roger Judd and "We're sending you back to work for Halliburton forever." By Pete Mueller ARTICLE: Dollar's Message Impacts 50 Cent at Rap Spirituality Conference - Make me wanna holler...Creflo Dollar! By Chris Rainey FEATURE: EWTBN - Are you praying for the perfect blend of depth and triteness? By Aaron Alford INTERVIEW: Wayne LaPierre Interview - He was packin'. By Drew Dyck FEATURE: Pray the vote: The Presidential Prayer Team- Even as we prepare this appeal, the DARK ONE is working overtime to prepare another SECULAR CANDIDATE for 2008. By Phil Leiter FEATURE: It's All In The Retails - Proud Sponsors of the Michael W. Smithfield Ham. By John Carney ARTICLE: Training Teens to Touch the Tainted - Souls can only be won in far away places where you don't know anyone. By Patricia Asaad FEATURE: Madonna Calls for World Peace - Words from a self-proclaimed "idea planet." By Matthew Pickett ARTICLE: The Young Man and the Sea - Hemmingway is turning over. In his grave. Jen Garrison Stuber ARTICLE: Trouble in the Camp - Joshua 'fit the battle of Jericho" on several fronts. By Wendy Noble. FEATURE: The Witnessing Evaluation Committee - More adventures with Shaggy the Boy Toy. By Steven Marshwiggle. ARTICLE: Ramping it Up - Introducing, Canon 2: With a Vengeance. By Dan Krause ARTICLE: Jesus' Progress Report Found in Ruins of Nazareth High School - To quote and cite oneself is simply NOT done - even if he is indeed, using proper Chicago Turabian style...By Tamara Jaffe-Notier FEATURE: Cracking the Codes: Mystery Messages in the Stories We Love - If we allow gay marriage in this country, then probably the next thing that they'll want to do is to try and start bathing in huge potatoes!. By Chris Whitehead CARTOONS: "First thing I do when I get to heaven is kick Tim LaHaye's Ass. That Left Behind crap gave my kids nightmares." By Paul Pell and "I'm With Raptured" By Roger Judd ARTICLE: Scholars Proclaim Search for the Historical Jesus a Resounding Success! - Meet James Cole of Hoboken, N.J. By Mathew Pickett FEATURE: Truth is Stranger Than Fiction - If it wasn't true, we wouldn't tell you so. By Door Staff ARTICLE: There's Something About a Man With a Seminary Degree - I like the cut of his jib, Smithers. By Frank Stallons FEATURE: Answers You'll Never See in Beliefnet.com's Religious Etiquette Column - Miss Manners we ain't. By Kristen Mc Carty CARTOONS: "Well Mrs. Aberman, where did you happen to run across this little item?" By Fred Allen and "The Muse Speaks to Tim LaHaye. How to profit from the coming end times" By Roger Judd LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: We get slammed, slimed, and slain. Edited By Skippy R. CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS ARTICLE: Marriage Fails as Defense of Marriage Amendment Remains Unratified - That's what made it so important to elect Republicans at every level of government in this last election. By Mathew Pickett CARTOONS: "Cultural Jet Lag" By Jim Siergey THE LAST WORD: A modest proposal. By Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
Jokers Wild! It's the World Series of Evangelical Poker! ARTICLE: World Series of Evangelical Poker - You gotta know when to fold 'em. By Robert Darden INTERVIEW: Wittenburg Door Interview: Bob Flynn - Growing Up a Sullen Baptist. By Bob Darden INTERVIEW: Wittenburg Door Interview: Roger Olson - Reclaiming the word "evangelical" from the evangelicals. By Marla Lester FEATURE: Atkins Study Bible - Problems with the miracle of the carbs and fishes. By David Werther ARTICLE: Sword Drills - Present Arms. By Steve Marshwiggle. FEATURE: Books That Didn't Quite Make the 2004 Best-Seller List - The Gospel According to Sex In The City. By John Green INTERVIEW: Wittenburg Door Interview - Stephen Long - What the heck is radical orthodoxy, anyway. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier FEATURE: End Times Bible College - Why should you spend four years and $100,000.00 when Jesus will probably return before you graduate? By J. Mark Bertrand FEATURE: Christian Bookstore Survival Tips - Be careful around the ceramic baby Jesuses. Breaking one is bad karma. By Steve Dukenski FEATURE: Most Anticipated Religious Books of 2005 - When Normal Things Happen to Normal People. By Ed Wier FEATURE: A Vision on Toast - It's funny, but Jesus usually leaves the food-related appearances to His mom. By Bob Barr ARTICLE: Candidate Jesus - What slate can possibly challenge Jeb Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger in '08? By Randy Reynolds CARTOONS: "Happy birthday Adam! Oh great, another fig leaf." By Bob Vojtko and "SpongeBob Jones University - Welcome to orientation! Please remember that ties are optional but pants are mandatory." By Jess Mac Callum FEATURE: Cluttef We Stand - An open letter to churches. By Tammy Hansen Snell. CARTOONS: "Google" By Jess MacCallum, and "Bleep-A-Doodle-Do!" By Scott Arthur Masler FEATURE: The Godly Father - Relive the joy of the multi-generational saga of non-violent Christian gangsters. By Howard Bowman. FEATURE: Open Letter to Preachers - Seeing our darker sides in living color. By Gordon Atkinson FEATURE: No Need to Convert - My God, where might this lead us? By Gene Daniels FEATURE: Atkins Approved Communion Wafers - Don't let carb-counting keep people from hearing your sermon. By Kyron Millard CARTOONS: "Pent...Repent." By Jack Corbett and "That looks like me." By April Pedersen FEATURE: The Story of Slomo - An eye for an eye. A toe for a toe. A parable. By Robert Flynn ARTICLE: The Seven Christian Virtues (and How to Practice Them) - Your personal virtue: Have you named it and claimed it today. By Todd Outcalt. FEATURE: E-mail From Jesus - Way to Go Guys. By Eric W. Robinson. ARTICLE: Loser of the Bi-Month - Jimmy Swaggart's Abom(i)nation. By Mel Leaman FEATURE: Showing Ichthysiasm - Honk - repeatedly and loudly - if you love Jesus. By Jane Lebak FEATURE: The Apostle's Creed, Seeker Version: Bill Gates Unveils the new and improved 2005 Edition. By Norman A. Bert CARTOONS: "Can you lead us to a land where we won't be continually plagued by this awful black goo, everywhere we step?" By Bob Schochet; "Not only do I have a broken leg, but apparently I'm also faith impaired." By Paul Pell; "Chicken Soup For the Chicken Soul - I think this series has run its course." By April Pedersen; "Learn to live with it. This is it." By Bob Schochet; and "It looks like more days of whining Moses." By Bob Schochet. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: The well-spring from which all wisdom occasionally floweth. Conceived By Skippy R. CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS THE LAST WORD: Don't get fooled again. Constructed by Ole Anthony, with Skippy R.
THE DOOR'S 200TH ISSUE: Repent! The end is near.
FEATURE: Eschatological Secrets of Ecclesiastes as Revealed by Jack Van Impe -"So a little foolishness is weightier than wisdom and honor, Rexella." By Jeff Carter.
Steroid-Stuffed Baptist Preachers!
ARTICLE: Southern Baptists Suspend Pastor for Steroid Use - You just don't get that kind of growth in Southern Baptist churches without some kind of performance enhancing drug. By Chris Rainey.
The Elvis Hypothesis: A Postmodern Perspective
ARTICLE: The Second Coming: Post-Modern Perspectives on the Elvis Hypothesis: Wherin we do a hunk hunka exegetin'. By Jeffrey M. White.
The Dangerous Christian Comics of Chris Yambar
INTERVIEW: Chris Yambar: Celebrating Sacred Silliness. By Arsenio Orteza.
The Last Communion
ARTICLE: The Last Communion. By Robert Darden
East-West Social Justice Turf War!
ARTICLE: East/West Social Justice Turf War! Wallis' ideas on globalization is wack, and I'll tell anybody that who axes. By Aaron Alford.
The Gospel According To Napoleon Dynamite
ARTICLE: The Gospel According to Napoleon Dynamite - "Pastor, if Napoleon can endure dry lips that hurt real bad, I can get through this." By Tim Patrick
WWJE? Who Would Jesus Exclude?
INTERVIEW: Albert J. Reyes - How would Jesus relate to systems that oppress people? By Bob Flynn.
A Wittenburg Christmas
FEATURE: A Wittenburg Christmas: Shakespeare's Lost Pageant - Here's a night pities neither wise man nor fool. By Dale Dobson.
This is My Father's World ...
ARTICLE: The NOAH Conference: Also, do not be misled by billboards taking My Name in Vain. By Siarlys Jenkins.
Happy 35th Birthday To Us!
INTERVIEW: Moby: Musings from a musical mystic. By Tamara Jaffe-Notier.
Blessed Are The Poor...
ARTICLE: Jesus Was a Homeless Bum: I'd never imagine Him sleeping outside, shivering in a park somewhere, living under a bridge. By Wendy Noble.
TBN Invades Afghanistan!
ARTICLE: Letter from Kabul: I believe that my left deaf ear drum blown out from a rocket attack will be healed. By Al Speegle, Jr.
Kenneth Copeland: Detective Ace of the Air
ARTICLE: Detective Ace of the Air! Another Kenneth Copeland Mystery: What's the frequency, Kenneth? By Robert Darden
FEATURE: "They'll Know We are Christians by Our Stuff." "And if the NASDAQ keeps on rising, up to heaven we'll both go." By William Jolliff |
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